Strength to Endure
by Desertfyre
Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean
1. Prologue: How did it come to this?

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Alright, I finally managed to get this story down! I've always had this one idea/scene and here lately in the last few days, several more elements came and I was able to string it all together and present this story so I'm very happy about this.

This is a LimpFest like I've probably never written before. I don't know if any of my other stories come close to being this limpy. In fact for the first time ever I'm saying this….if you are prone to feeling the angst, I'd like to suggest a teddy bear or plushy and a box of tissues.

The is AU after S5 The End. For the sake of this story in episode before that one- Free to be you and me, when Lucifer shows up and talks to Sam, that conversation happens except the part when Lucifer said that he's resurrect Sam if Sam tried to kill himself. Actually, Sam never says that...to Lucifer anyway. Ahem.

As per my usual policy, this story is finished, just give me a few days to look over and upload. Thanks!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Prologue: How did it come to this?<p>

Later:

Dean didn't know how it came to this.

Sam was crying and pleading with him. Tell him the reasons why he should do what he should have done long ago.

He was in the most dreaded position he could think of. The one he avoided for many years.

The one he swore never to be in.

Here he was with Sam on his knees in front of him, holding the barrel of the gun to the middle of his forehead, pleading with him to execute him.

And here he was holding the hilt of the gun, standing over his younger brother as he continued his speech of sheer desperation.

And every word that Sam spoke, something tightened in Dean's chest. His eyes blurred as his face was tight as he listened to Sam ramble on and on.

Dean felt as if he was going to be sick.

How did it come to this?

And when Sam was finished his body sagged as he limply let go of the barrel. His eyes lowered and Dean could see clearly the tear tracks that graced his pale face even with his bangs shielding his worn eyes. He was so willing to allow Dean to kill him.

Begging him to in fact.

How did it come to this?

Dean's chest became so tight he had trouble breathing just as Sam's did if his ragged breathes were anything to go by.

Tighter and tighter, the band around Dean's chest gripped.

And until finally something snapped with him.

And with tears in his eyes…..

.

.

.

He pulled the trigger.

**TBC...**


	2. CH1: Winding up here

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: All the chapters are pretty long actually. Hope you enjoy the ride!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: Winding up here<p>

Now:

SLAP!

"You know Sam, I really hate doing this to you, I really do. But you brought this on yourself", the older man sneered down at Sam.

Dean recoiled at seeing Sam so brutally used, but said nothing. He had learned his lesson pretty early. They only abused Sam even more if he made so much a sound. He started out yelling at them, until he was hoarse and for the while they ignored him, until apparently he wore on their nerves and they threatened Sam more bodily harm, if he kept it up.

It had only been about half a day since these goons captured him and his brother. How they managed to pull that off he still was trying to figure out.

Oh, wait, he reminded himself for the umpteenth time, it was easy when neither one of the brothers were on the same page. They had been fighting even after they had gotten back together. Dean had recently saw what he deemed a possible future with the apocalypse playing out.

And he didn't like what he saw.

It convinced him that he and Sam needed to find a way to work together. So despite his own protests shortly before that time trip, he called up Sam and allowed him to come back and work together. He knew that Sam was relieved, since Sam had called him up and begged him to allow him to come back.

But even after they got back together things weren't anywhere near uncomfortable.

And that had been over a week ago since they got back together.

Dean found himself constantly watching Sam closely.

Too closely, really.

And Sam was always trying to pick and choose his words and his actions not to upset Dean any further. But that was hard, cause it seemed no matter what Sam did, Dean found something wrong with it. And then yesterday, the dam seemed to break and they had an argument.

Dean was still kicking himself for not paying attention even with stepping out to get a soda after the two of them settled in at the motel for the night after the big fight. In his defense, he was zoned out and wasn't paying attention.

But in the long run it didn't matter:

_The Impala raced down the road, with no particular destination in mind. There wasn't a job they had to be at, so Dean figured they'd reach the state border cross over and figure out what to do then. Actually since getting back together, they had yet to take a job. _

_The tension in the impala was thick and heavy. _

_But that seemed to be par to the course nowadays. _

_There wasn't even any music to break said tension. _

_Sam looked out the window watching the world go by but not seeing it. His thoughts were turned inward. He glanced at Dean briefly, whose face seemed to always be set permanently on annoyed mode, at least when he was around him. _

_Bracing himself he tried quietly breaking the oppressive silence, "Dean?" _

_Dean snapped not taking his eyes off the road, "What?" _

"_We haven't discussed a case since we've got back together. Maybe I could find something for us to hunt." _

"_No." _

_Sam blinked. "No? What, what do you mean no? I pretty sure there are things we can hunt especially since the apocalypse is topside." _

"_What are you trying to go somewhere or something?" _

"_What? Dean, you aren't making any sense." _

_Dean glared darkly at Sam, "Why do you keep bringing up a case, huh? Don't you think we've got enough problems right now? Let's focus on that." _

"_We still have a job to do, you know." _

"_Are you willing to still do said job together?" _

_There was a heavy shocked silence. _

"_I know we still have things to work on", Sam finally started slowly, "But we still have people to save." _

"_You know Sam, I'm not blind." Dean growled, his patience snapping, "I can see you zoning out constantly. What I want to know is why? And why did you come back late in the night the other day without telling me where you went? I'm not sure if working on a hunt, where we need to be focus and in sync, is going to work right now."_

_Sam looked hurt. "I didn't realize I needed to report to you my every move." _

"_Well, you do", Dean snapped carelessly. _

_Sam sucked in a breath. "I'm trying, okay? You are the one who called me up and invited me back. But you've been acting as if everything I do has to be under suspicion." _

_Dean didn't say anything to that making Sam feel what was unsaid. _

"_Dean, I told you then, and I tell you now, I went for a walk to clear my head." _

"_At 3'oclock in the morning?" _

"_YES!" Sam cried. "I couldn't sleep and you were. I didn't want to wake you up so I went for a stroll around the block." _

"_Are you sure you weren't out sucking some demon blood or something?"_

"_NO! I told you!" _

"_You told me those hunters forced demon blood down your throat, maybe it got you hooked again." Dean shrugged. _

"_Are you serious? I told you because I didn't want it to be between us. I told you so, if perchance, it came up again, you'd would have heard it from me first and not someone else and wonder why I didn't tell you. I did it so I could have a clear conscience." _

_"It's always about you, Sam", Dean sniped. _

_Sam just huffed hurt but didn't say anything else as he turned his head and looked out he window.  
><em>

"_Do you regret it?"_

_Sam glanced over at Dean warily, _"_Regret what?"_

"_Telling me."_

"_Your making me", Sam snapped. _

_Dean gave a bitter laugh, "That's typical. You probably didn't want to tell me anyway." _

"_Oh my….Dean! I can't win with you! I told you and you're angry you know, and if I didn't you woulda been pissed I didn't tell you. Everything I do is wrong! I can't win! It's a lose-lose whatever I do!"_

"_Whose fault is that?" Dean murmured. _

_Sam felt himself snapping losing all patience as he all but yelled, "Dean? What the crap do you want from me?" _

_Dean slowly turned his head to glare at him. _

_Sam faltered once as slowly Dean's head turned back to the road, but then the anger came creeping back as he hissed, "No really, what do you want from me? When I called you up, you were adamant about us not working together anymore and then not long after you call me up and want to get back together. I didn't question why but I was grateful for it. But now you act like I breathe wrong….whatever I do or don't do is not right. I can't do right by you if you keep flipping the switch! Do you want us to work together or not….cause if not, drop me off at the nearest bus station and I'll be on my merry way. It's really very simple." _

_A memory of LuciferSam flashed through Dean's mind making him shake once, yet still he couldn't help but hiss, "It sounds very appealing Sam, don't tempt me."_

"_That's it, pull over!" Sam all but yelled. _

_Dean looked at him incredulously. _

"_So help me God, you better pull over!" Sam did fully yell this time. _

_Dean snorted but did as he was told. Before the car fully came to a stop, Sam had swung the door open and hopped out of the car, slamming it too. Dean twitched as he sat still a moment watching Sam pace violently back and forth, after cutting the engine off before jumping out and all but slamming the door. He walked around the car to lean on it watching Sam pace. _

"_What do I have to do?" Sam yelled turning to Dean. "What the crap do you need me to do? Tell me! You won't throw me even a bone….what do you want from me?"_

"_Well, I'd love it if, I had a brother I could trust, you know", Dean spoke carelessly having no idea how deeply each word cut into Sam's already scarred psyche. He just couldn't seem to stop. He was angry with Sam, angry with himself, angry with heaven and hell, Lucifer and angels, the demons. _

_Just angry with everything and everyone._

_And it seemed Sam was the unlucky target of all this anger. _

_Sam trembled from mixed emotions. "Did you even mean it? All the crap about changing destiny, do it our way. The whole apologizing, we keep each other human, second best hunter on planet. It sounded like a bone back then, what happened? Did you even mean it?" _

"_Of course, I meant it Sam", Dean snorted looking down the highway. And he did mean everything he said but saying it was one thing, doing was another. _

"_No, cause you don't act like it. Just tell me the truth!" _

_Dean whipped his head back to Sam, his eyes narrowing, "Oh, like you were doing this past year and then some?" _

_Sam closed his eyes, his mouth working like a fish. Finally he gave a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. "Fine….just…just drop me off at a bus station…I'll do you that favor." _

"_You aren't leaving, Sam. What you giving up already?", Dean all but taunted. _

"_I can't convince you otherwise that I'm dang trying and you don't want to throw me a bone….so I'll just get out of your hair." Sam voice was quiet. _

_At this, Dean's cocked his head. Something was bothering him. It was something in Sam's eyes, his posture, or maybe it was the lack of something. It had been bothering him for the last several days. He would find Sam almost off in his own world, zoning out. Sure he did that all the time but it was different than before. No, he needed to keep Sam close to him. He couldn't afford to have that future he saw play out. If Sam left now, there was a good chance it would, and he couldn't let that happen. Yet, at the same time he couldn't just drop everything that had happened and pretend to be what it used to be. For some reason, he just found it hard to throw his younger brother a bone. He just couldn't right now….but he couldn't let him go off on his own either. _

_Dean took a step forward. "Sam, we need to stick together."_

"_It's apparent, we do not", Sam answered his voice still the quiet quality that was beginning to worry Dean. _

_Dean shifted, his anger fading momentarily, "Well, we do." _

_Sam gave a weary sigh, "Why?" _

_Dean furrowed his brow at this, noting the seeming defeated posture that Sam had, "Cause we keep each other human." He stated simply his eyes running over his younger brother's form. _

_Sam snorted and replied wetly and quietly. "No, just….no." he shook his head. _

_And suddenly Dean felt the need to back off a little. The way he said it made Dean worry, "Sam, look I know it's difficult, but trust me on this." Dean winced at his words. _

_How did he expect Sam to trust him when he wouldn't offer Sam a tentative olive branch on the matter? It went both ways really. _

_Sam lifted his head up and looked at Dean, "I do trust you, but I can't stay here and work for something that I'm clearly not going to get. Please, just drop me off at the nearest bus station."_

"_Heck no", Dean cried shaking his head. _

_Sam threw his hands up in the air before opening the door to the Impala and sliding back in murmuring, "I can't win." He shut the door behind him and looked back down at his lap. _

_Why did the way Sam say that mean more that just what they were talking about? _

_And why did Dean feel a sense of dread? _

**TBC….**


	3. CH2: Acceptance

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Nothing of substance to say...

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Acceptance<p>

_The ride to the hotel was in silence. _

_The good news, the since was no longer so oppressive, it became more…..thoughtful, perhaps? _

_The bad news, well, it was silent. _

_Hence the brothers not talking. _

_But sometimes you take what you can get. _

_Finally, Dean pulled up into the parking lot of a motel and without preamble he got out and walked to the office, leaving Sam looking after him, with something akin to desperation on his eyes, though Dean didn't see it. _

_Would it always be like this, Sam wondered? Sam knew the he deserved everything and more that his brother or anyone else chose to throw is way. _

_But it didn't get any easier to deal with it. _

_He knew things would never be as they were, too much had changed, but he had hoped that maybe after Dean invited him back that they could rebuild somehow. _

_But Dean was making it difficult. _

_And Sam didn't blame him but still. _

_His hand reached up to rub his temple. _

_When Sam got back, he told Dean everything. He told him mostly about the hunters who tried to force demon blood down his throat and that he was Lucifer's vessel. Surprisingly, Dean wasn't too shocked at the latter but it was the former that apparently worried him. _

_Sam wanted to start off right, so he figured he should lay all his cards on the table. Though part of him wished he could take it back and keep it to himself, the other part of him, knew that no matter what Dean said or did, that he did the right thing in telling. _

_It was the only way, they could move forward. _

_If Dean even wanted to move forward. _

_Dean came wandering back and Sam slowly got out of the car and made his way to the trunk where Dean was quietly getting the bags. Dean didn't say anything so Sam didn't either. Just quietly got his bags and closed the trunk before following Dean into their room. _

_Shutting the door, they quietly situated for the night. They went through the motions of each getting a shower and settling down. Dean sat in bed channel surfing even as his eyes continually traveled to Sam. _

_Sam found himself sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to the door and Dean and just staring blankly in front of him. He had been sitting in that position for who knows how long. Finally Dean couldn't take it anymore. _

"_What now?" came a somewhat snappish comment. But to Dean's credit, it wasn't as snappish as it had been before. _

_Sam just shook his head. _

"_Are you gonna brood about this? Do you want to leave that badly?" Dean couldn't help the hurt that crept in his voice. _

_Sam gave a loud weary sigh that had Dean's nerves on edge, making him stiffen although, Sam didn't realize this, "Dean…..can we not do this again tonight? I'm here, right?" _

"_Unless you plan to run off in the night, which is why you are up, waiting for me to fall asleep or something" Dean snorted, going back to that careless talk he had been doing since the two of them rejoined each other. _

_Dean saw Sam's shoulders sag as he answered, "I won't. I'm not." _

"_I don't know that." Dean murmured under his breath though Sam heard him. _

"_What do you know?" came the quiet question. _

_It was Dean's turn to sigh and pause before he answered softly, "I don't know anymore." He swore he saw Sam shiver. "I don't know." He paused before turning the TV off and standing up. "I gotta get out", he murmured grabbing his jacket and putting on his boots, before walking out the door. _

_Closing the door behind him, Dean walked absently to the soda machine. He just leaned on it looking as if he was trying to figure out what he wanted but in reality he saw none of it. _

_He really didn't know anymore. _

_He didn't know what to do anymore. _

_He was so busy just absently starting at the machine that he didn't hear the quiet footsteps behind him like he should have._

_He just felt the blow before it was fading to black. _

When Dean had awoken he found Sam tied to a chair. He had cuts and bruises and a black eye forming. Dean himself had been chained to a wall opposite Sam. Sam looked relieved with Dean had finally awoke:

"_Dean…." Sam breathed a sigh of relief. _

_At that moment they were the only ones in this warehouse that Dean was currently looking around. _

"_What happened? Are you okay?" Dean asked studying Sam before asking, "Who did that to you?" He felt angered by the bruises and cuts on Sam's person. And the black eye that was beginning to form. _

"_Doesn't matter. Are you okay? Not concussed or anything?" Sam asked. _

_Dean did a mental check. "Yeah, a headache but otherwise, I'm okay." He looked piercingly at Sam. "What happened to you?" his voice booked no argument. _

_Sam sighed. "Hunters. Two of them were the ones I told you about. They brought some of their friends and…what do you remember?" he asked. _

"_Standing by the soda machine." _

_Sam nodded. "They knocked you out. You were gone for quite some time I was getting worried, especially since I saw the impala still there. Then there was a knock on the door and it turned out to be Tim and Reggie. They claimed they captured you. Which I didn't believe until I saw your leather jacket. They promised not to hurt you if I came along. So that's what happened." _

"_And the black eye, the cuts and bruises?" _

_Dean never did get an answer at Reggie and Tim came in with their friends. One of whom, name Lionel who seemed to be the leader of the pack..._

* * *

><p>The older man sneered down at Sam. He clicked his tongue. "It's amazing you can take all of this and not cry or blink. Don't you think that's not normal?" Lionel asked.<p>

The other hunters laughed.

"Now, Tim and Reggie here told me you could be a viable weapon if you would just drink this blood", Lionel held up a vial.

"Let Dean go", Sam murmured quietly.

"Sam, Sam, Sam. I told you, we can't."

"You got what you wanted. Let Dean go."

"I would, I really would. But see here's the problem: the Winchesters are well known in the community and I know if I let Dean go he wouldn't go quietly."

"For once you said something we can agree with." Dean hissed under his breath.

Lionel looked back at Dean and smiled lightly. "Exactly, Dean wouldn't just go. He'd try to kill us. And we can't afford that. It's amazing we managed to get the drop we did on the two of you."

"Please, what if I made Dean promise to go quietly." Sam asked.

"I wouldn't promise, Sam." Dean warned.

Sam looked at him pleadingly.

"Yeah, we know that. Hence why were aren't going there", Lionel smirked before frowning and glaring down at Sam, "Now, Sam you have two choices, either drink this blood or…." Here he pulled out a gun and cocked it. "...Die."

Dean struggled in his chains. It unnerved him that Sam didn't even blink at the gun in his face. "You hurt him and I'll kill you."

"We're scared, really we are", Reggie stated sarcastically.

"We don't want to do this, Sam, but you're dangerous. If you don't won't be our weapon then you'll have to die. I don't want this anymore then you do." Lionel actually sounded sincere.

Dean used choice words.

"Ah, Dean, I do apologize, but it's true", Lionel turned a little to include Dean in his glaze who was glaring at him murderously, "Your brother is…well, he's evil. Like one of those monsters we hunt, just in a different form. "

Here Sam lowered his head, his bangs covering his expression as Lionel continued, "What normal human being drinks blood for one and demon blood for two? He started the apocalypse, Dean. Wake up, your brother isn't human. He isn't normal. He's hell-spawn, is what he is. And you know what we do to hell-spawn. This isn't anything unlike what we would do to a vampire or a demon or anything else evil and not normal that walks this earth. You should thank me, Dean. You might not have the strength to do what needs to be done, but I do. And I will." Lionel turned back to Sam who looked up at him, facing him resolutely in the eyes.

That frightened Dean. Why wasn't Sam fighting? Why didn't Sam say anything? He never did. The most he said was the plead for Dean's release. Why didn't he defend himself? What was in it his eyes that frightened Dean so?

"Don't! I mean it!" Dean yelled, trying to fight his bonds.

Sam then looked Dean making him shocked at what he saw in his eyes.

Acceptance to what is about to happen.

And it sicken Dean.

"I'm sorry", Lionel murmured before he pulled the trigger.

And Dean cried out.

**TBC….**

* * *

><p>A.N: I'm sorry I realize I have a bad habit of ending a chapter with a pull of a trigger.<p>

But so climatic, do you think?


	4. CH3: My Son, We are the same

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: This is without a doubt the longest chapter of this story!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: My Son (We are the same)<p>

Dean cried out but it died down. Since Lionel's back was to him, he could not see Sam.

But strangely he heard no impact. He strained to see.

The other hunters were wide-eyed and disgusted.

"What witchcraft is this?" Tim cried taking a step back.

Lionel had taken a few steps back and away, allowing Dean to see what the problem was. His eyes were widened.

The bullet had stopped in the air, inches from Sam's face. Dean took in Sam, trying to gauge his reaction and he seemed as shock at everyone in the room was. He was staring cross-eyed at the bullet.

"What are you?" one of the other hunters asked revulsion in his voice.

"How did you do that?" Tim asked.

"It's not me." Sam panted out a response, "It's not me."

"Hello, boys." Came a soft voice.

Everyone in the room looked up to see NickLucifer standing off the side, a small smile playing on his face. Sam's eyes widen.

"How did you get in here?" Lionel asked swinging the gun around to the face the new comer.

NickLucifer gave a soft smile, "I'm afraid you boys have done enough damage."

Sam finally found his voice, "Run. Run!" He pleaded with the hunters.

The hunters glanced at Sam before looking back at Lucifer.

"Who are you?" Tim asked, holding his own gun towards him.

Lucifer gave a small bow, "I'm Lucifer."

There was a collective gasp and a moment of stunned silence that followed. Dean's mouth was open as he stared at the Lucifer. Then suddenly Lionel screamed and pulled the trigger several times. The bullets stop midair. The hunters fidgeted as they stared in shock.

Lucifer frowned, "I don't appreciate you bothering my son."

Dean blanched at this and the hunters gave gasps. Sam just looked concerned about the hunters rather than what Lucifer called him. "Please, you have to run. You can't fight him." He tried again.

"Shut up!" Lionel yelled clearly fearful barely sparing Sam a glance.

Lucifer's frown deepened as he held up his hand.

"Please, don't hurt them." Sam tried to beg for them. Lucifer smiled gently at him before turning a frown back at them.

"They tried to hurt you…." Lucifer looked murderous then, "….and that is unacceptable."

And suddenly there were screams as Lucifer flick his hand and all the bullets flew around and shot all the hunters. One by one they dropped dead. Sam looked sorrowful at the dead bodies and Dean was still shocked, his mind reeling. Lucifer took a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking between the two.

"Sam, it's good to see you again and Dean, it's nice to meet you for the first time." He sketched a bow towards both of them.

"Why…..why did you do that?" Sam only asked his voice full of sadness.

"Like I said, no one will hurt you and live to tell the tale."

It was then, that Dean snapped out it and glared at Lucifer, pulling on his bonds. "That was kinda unnecessary don't you think?" he asked.

Lucifer only smiled, "I do what I must." He proceeded to slowly walk over to Sam, kicking away the body of Lionel that blocked his way. He kneeled before him.

"Get away from him, you psycho!" Dean yelled.

Lucifer only looked at him and admonished, "Name calling is not nice, Dean."

"I got other names if you don't like that one."

"I'm sure you are tired of hanging on that wall like that", Lucifer said instead and with a flick of his wrist Dean was released from the chains.

Dean rubbed his wrists and without preamble he took a few steps forward. But never got far, as suddenly he was frozen on the spot. He tried to speak but found he could not. Lucifer gave him an apologetic glance as he turned back to Sam who looked Dean.

"What did you do to him?" he asked.

"Don't worry, Sam. He's fine. Just frozen for the moment. I need to talk to you without a running commentary from a smart aleck." Lucifer smiled as he undid the rope that held Sam down in his chair.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief but let out a small groan, as he scrambled out of the chair and away from Lucifer almost tripping over a body in the process. It was Lucifer who stood, steadying him, gripping his arm and sliding the body further away from the two of them.

"Please, be careful Sam. After all my work I do not wish you to trip over any of these buffoons and break your neck. That would not be prudent to my cause." Lucifer spoke with care as he release Sam's arm with a small smile.

Sam just stared at him perplexed. He swallowed, "What are you doing here?" he asked softly.

Lucifer smiled and cocked his head. "You know why I am here. But more than that…..you aren't doing well. I could not let that go. Sam, you let these morons get the drop on you and your brother. I know you are trained better than that. But it goes beyond that doesn't it?"

Dean kept trying to struggle but now wondered what Lucifer was talking about. That cold dread was coming back and it was pressing against him. Sam didn't say anything but glance down. That small action worried Dean.

"Oh, Sam. I know it's been hard. I've been watching you, making sure you are okay. Sometimes, when you felt so alone, even with your brother right there with you…", here Lucifer paused and lazily look over at Dean before he continued, "…I would reach out from across time and space just so you knew you weren't alone. Because at those moments, your brother didn't even know how you felt. More than that, he didn't even care."

Dean's eyes bugged as Sam shivered. Lucifer looked back at Sam, "You knew it was me, didn't you? You felt it. But it's getting worse for you, isn't it? That's why I felt I was needed to step in now." He took a step forward and to Dean's concern Sam didn't take a step back as Lucifer took another. "Oh, my son….."

If Dean could have he would have blanched. But as it was, he had to settle for a mental blanch. What discerned him was the fact that Sam wasn't say anything to this, even as he looked up and saw Lucifer closer to his person than a few steps ago. And what's more he was looking at Lucifer helplessly.

And none of this was sitting right with Dean.

"I know it's hard. You realize now what your life has been reduced to, don't you?" Lucifer gave a small sigh, "I wish, for you, it had not come to this. I do, Sam, because I want you to be happy."

Dean struggled again and tried to say something, but he was firmly frozen. Lucifer spared him the smallest glance as he continued, "These hunters, turned their backs on you. The entire hunter community, for that matter, has turned their backs on you. They all blame you for something that you didn't mean to happen, but it did because it was meant to be. But even more than that…much more than that…." Another step closer, "You're brother has turned his back on you, hasn't he?"

Dean tried to get a sound out, but couldn't. He denied such a statement in his mind.

"You could deal with the hunters and the world turning their backs, but without Dean….." Lucifer trailed off and gave a small shrug, "It's all meaningless isn't it? And you would have let those morons kill you without any defense to yourself. That was what you were doing. And that is not the Sam I know. I know you are lost, my son, but I'm here to pick up those pieces. Dean doesn't want to anymore and you know that. He doesn't care anymore."

And to Dean's utter disgust which was pretty high as it was, Lucifer reached up and wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders.

And Sam didn't even pull back.

He just stood there awkwardly, his arms hanging limply at his side staring off.

It was a look that Dean had seen a few times since they got back together.

And now it scared him more than ever.

Lucifer took Sam's head and guided it to lay on his shoulder. His hand began to pat Sam's hair as if he was a mere child. Dean glared at Lucifer screaming at him to get off of his younger brother. As if hearing him, Lucifer looked over at him with a smile as he opened his mouth and spoke, his eyes staring piercingly into Dean's,

"I know you have no more strength to endure. You have been failing for the longest time, haven't you? And you broke, when you accidentally released me, but you hide it well, didn't you?"

It was discerning to Dean that Lucifer seemed to know what he was talking about as if he was reading Sam's mind.

But none of it was true…..

Was it?

Lucifer continued, "And you hide the fact that you broke so well, or maybe it was that your brother", here he spat the word out as if it was vile still staring into Dean's eyes as he spoke, "didn't care enough to look beyond the tip of his nose to see what was right in front of you. All he did was shut you out, push you away, no….oh no….he did more than push you away, didn't he? He threw you away, didn't he?"

Lucifer glared fiercely at Dean as Dean returned the glare back twice fold. Sam shivered violently at this statement. Dean saw this and his stomach dropped.

Did Sam really feel this way?

And if so, how did Dean miss such a thing?

And a part of him that was trying to ignore now begged the question: How much of it did he chose to ignore?

"And not only did Dean throw you away, he left you! He allowed you to walk away without a fight. I know you were shocked and hurt at that. You expected a fight at least. At least it would have meant that he cared on some level, but he didn't. Just let you go and secretly a part of him was happy to see you go. What did he say, something like, I can't do the job well if I'm worried about you? Something about, not even being able to afford it! A big brother not being able to afford the time and effort to take care of his little brother!"

Dean saw Sam stiffened and his heart sunk. He was getting angrier and angrier at Lucifer. He was twisting his words! Dean never meant it that way! Besides, how would Lucifer know that, he wasn't there! It was like he was picking all these things from Sam's mind, taking it out of context, twisting them to suit his purpose.

"You try so hard and this is what you get? But then, Dean allowed you to return to his side and I know you rejoiced. But that was short lived wasn't it? You knew it wouldn't be like before, but you thought you it wouldn't be as bad as it did. But you didn't complain. You took whatever Dean and any other threw at you because you think you deserve all that and more!"

Dean swallowed hard at this revelation as Sam stiffened even more if that was possible.

"And all because he simply wouldn't throw you a bone. A simple, measly little bone." Here Lucifer's eyes narrowed at Dean before they returned to the top of Sam's head and softened as he patted Sam's hair again, "He didn't give you anything to grasp ahold of, did he? No bone, no anchor, no nothing. And slowly you died a little more inside. Every day your strength was waning even with your big brother a few inches from you. And now your strength is up, isn't it? Isn't it, my son?"

Dean saw Sam's fist clench as he shut his eyes. Dean could only look on helpless to intervene.

And still Lucifer continued. Dean thought he would have said all the got to say, but he didn't.

Hadn't Lucifer said enough?

What was he trying to do, push Sam over the edge?

"And does your big brother see this, no! But I understand that, Sam. I'm a little brother myself. I understand the pain of crying out to your big brother and he either chooses to ignore you or just plain deaf. I understand, Sam. You and me, we aren't that different. That's why I have reached out on those nights when you wanted your brother but he wasn't around. That's why I could, cause we're the same, connected, you and I."

A single choking sound escaped Sam as he tensed up, scrunching his body, looking for all the world a small child, his shoulders shaking. Dean wanted badly to question Sam on this. He wanted so badly to talk about this.

He couldn't believe that his brother would willingly allow Lucifer to talk to him.

But was this, all of this, including everything Lucifer was saying, a testament as to how far Sam has fallen?

How far he was falling?

And Dean didn't see.

No, he chose not to see.

He could no longer ignore that.

Not in the face of what was playing out before him.

Looking back Dean saw clearly signs that he could have called Sam out on. Things that bothered him, but he choose not to.

And he hated himself for it.

Dean was trying to avoid this route when he called Sam back to into the hunting game with him. He was, but now he saw clearly his part that he failed to play, to stop this from playing out.

He saw it too clearly.

Dean only prayed he wouldn't be too late in fixing it.

Lucifer only hugged him tighter. "My son, it will be okay."

'He's not your son!' Dean screamed yet again, but only to himself, as he couldn't open his mouth.

As if hearing him, Lucifer glanced at Dean with a warning look before turning back to Sam. "Sam, let me ask you a question. Why do continue to fight? Why? I don't understand this. You are offered a way out and you don't take it. Why? I mean, what are you fighting for?"

Lucifer pulled back and peered into Sam's face. Said young male had tears treading down his face. Lucifer looked at him sorrowfully before reaching out and wiping his tears away.

"Answer me, what are you fighting for?"

There was no answer as Sam looked uncertain at NickLucifer once more.

"I have offered you the choice those nights I reached out to you and you never have given me a straight answer. You never answered one way or another."

Dean looked powerless and horrified at this new information.

Sam he knew would have told Lucifer where to shove it.

So, you mean, that those days when they were mere inches apart, Lucifer has offered the choice and Sam said nothing?

You mean those nights when only a step separated their beds, Lucifer offered the choice and Sam said nothing?

How many times did Lucifer offer the choice and Sam said nothing?

How many times now was he presented with the choice wearing down his resolve?

How many?

Lucifer continued to look sympathetically at Sam and pulled his head back to his shoulder. "Sam, I know why you don't answer, because you don't know yourself anymore. It used to be so clear, didn't it? Now, though it's all muddled." Lucifer gave a small sigh and closed his eyes murmuring, "I want you to be happy. Say yes. Say yes and it can all be over. I promise you. And remember I promised to never lie or trick you. I don't want you to suffer anymore. Say yes, and you can rest."

There were a few moments of silence and Dean found he was holding his breath.

"What….what do you mean?" came a soft broken inquiry.

Dean tried to say something, tried to move, anything to stop this scene playing anymore before him. He had enough. It was too much.

Far too much.

"It means, my dear son, that if you let me have your body as my vessel, I'll make sure you aren't aware anymore. You can cease to exist actually as you'll be in so deep a sleep it'll seem like it. And you'll be free."

Here Sam shifted, making Lucifer smile. "You like that, don't you?"

Either by sheer willpower alone or Lucifer allowing it, Dean managed to make a single distressing sound that he hoped conveyed all he wanted Sam to know.

It must have struck some chord cause Sam shifted once more, lifting his head and glancing at Dean. Dean looked at him pleadingly, though he quickly figured out that Sam refused to look at his face. Dean saw clearly the glassy eyes of his younger brother and the tears that occasionally pooled down his cheeks.

Sam looked back at Lucifer, "Hypothetically speaking, if….if….I did….." here he swallowed hard, "….you'd…..you'd… have to guarantee….Dean's safety."

Dean's heart thudded in his chest as his eyes widen and he tried once more in vain to move or speak his mind.

Sam wasn't really considering any of this, was he?

Didn't Dean get back with his younger brother to prevent this from happening?

It hadn't been 2 weeks yet and already they were to that point?

How much did he miss?

What did he miss?

Or what was it that he chose not to see?

All these questions were plaguing Dean's mind so vividly, and so much more.

Lucifer frowned, his arms still around the younger man's shoulders, "Sam, you know that Dean would fight me with his dying breath."

Sam wet his lips nervously, "But could you guarantee his safety?"

Lucifer gave a sigh and stared hard at Sam before nodding and saying solemnly, "Yes, I could."

Sam looked so relieved it sickened Dean. Sam slowly nodded and lowered his glaze. Sheer willpower or otherwise, allowed Dean to make another desperate sound. Sam tensed at this.

Dean was screaming, 'Don't Sam! You can't! You can't do this! He's lying! Lucifer get off of my little brother you #^$#%$! Sam please, let's discuss this first, so I can talk you out of it! What did I miss? I'm sorry I ignored the signs. Why are you even considering…..?'

And on and on his screams echoed in his head but never made it out of his mouth.

Lucifer just pulled Sam back into his embrace and closed his eyes smiling lightly. "It's okay. It's okay to let go, Sam. They have no right to judge you for something you need so badly, not even your brother."

Sam let out a sob, making Dean's heart break further.

"It's okay", Lucifer cooed almost rocking Sam.

A click sounded and Lucifer opened his eyes, though he looked unperturbed and unsurprised as he felt the cold metal in the middle of his back.

Dean rejoiced at this, egging his brother on.

"Let me go, Lucifer."

Lucifer only gave a moment's pause before he slowly released Sam who moved away from him, putting distance between them. He moved closer to Dean still pointing the gun in Lucifer's face.

"Release my brother."

Lucifer gave a small sigh. "I'm only trying to help you. I know you like the idea. It's okay to like it. It's okay to see it as your salvation."

Dean saw Sam falter, lowering his gun slightly and tried to say something. Sam sucked in a breath looking calculating at Lucifer who took a step forward with smile.

It seemed to snap Sam back for a moment. "Release my brother", came a firmer repeat of the order as his grip on the gun tightened once more.

And suddenly, Dean found himself almost propelling forward enough to almost trip and land in a face plant. But he managed to gather himself enough to back Sam although he had no weapon on him.

"Leave." Sam ordered looking at Lucifer.

"Sam, know that my offer still stands even now. It will always stand. So if you change your mind, you know how to get a hold of me."

"I don't….want your offer", Sam stumbled over his words.

"My son…." Lucifer started only be interrupted.

"I'm not your son", Sam snapped.

And Dean saw briefly the strong, sassy Sam he knew well. Lucifer studied Sam quietly before he sketched a small bow and within a blink he was gone.

But Dean found he could not breathe easy.

Not yet.

**TBC….**

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><p>A.N: You know bad guys and monologues. They can be fun, but still are just that….a monologue.<p>

And Lucifer apparently loves to hear himself talk.

Cause he goes on and on and on and...


	5. CH4: The Dam Bursts

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Once again, nothing to say but to enjoy!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Chapter 4: The Dam Bursts<p>

The silence stretched on, long after Lucifer left.

Dean didn't know how long it was, but still it stretched on, neither saying anything. Dean stared at the back of Sam, and he saw clearly that Sam's shoulders were shaking. Sam had since lowered the gun and it was hanging loosely in his hand.

Finally the eldest Winchester managed to swallow before asking his voice husky with emotion, "You know…..you know that Lucifer was lying right? I mean you weren't really considering…." He couldn't even bring himself to finish his thought.

He heard a ragged sound escape from Sam, "I….I….."

Dean's eyes became glassy and silence floated for a little bit, "Sam." There was no response as he tried again, "Hey, Sam." He stepped up and touched his younger brother's arm.

Sam twisted away from his brief touch, not looking at his older brother's face, making Dean ill with the thought that a mere touch from him, sent Sam recoiling while Lucifer hugged him and he was okay with that.

Normally, he would be angry…..a small part of him was, but for the most part he was confused and hurt.

But mostly confused.

"I…I…I'm sorry", Sam apologized, "I'm so sorry."

Dean just stared at the empty space that Sam moved from. "Why?" he managed to choke out. His head snapped to look at Sam who looked everywhere but at his face, "Explain to me why? Is any of what Lucifer said….true?"

"I'm sorry."

"Talk to me, Sam. Please. We have to figure this out. I'm not gonna let this go. We have to figure this out."

Sam gave a huff of exasperation. "Now you want to talk? Now?

Dean swallowed hard and shut his eyes briefly in pain.

"I've been trying…to talk…..for….." Sam shrugged vulnerably "...And now, now, you want to talk? Why is it always on your timetable? I understand, that I have no right…to say anything. But…..I just don't understand."

"Sam I'm sorry. I am. I messed up", Dean took a step forward and was pained when Sam took a step back. "I know I messed up. So badly. But I want to talk now. I need to talk to you! "

"What is there to talk about? I'm fine." Here Sam laughed wetly, "I'm okay."

Dean shook his head regretfully and spoke his voice breaking, "No. No you aren't. You aren't. God, did I miss something? I did, I know I did. I sensed something was wrong before now but I didn't press you to talk like I would have. I didn't throw you a bone. I just choose to ignore you thinking, it was enough that we were together. But it's not. It's not. And I see that so clearly now."

Sam took a step back, shaking his head, his eyes finally coming to rest on his brother's face. "Don't, Dean. Please don't."

But Dean continued talking a step forward, "I should have done something before now. If I did maybe we wouldn't be here. I invited you back and I meant all that I said that day. But I acted otherwise, pushing you away..." He choked on the next words, "Throwing you away."

"Dean, please…." Sam face was tightened in agony.

"And I shouldn't have. I invited you back only a few hours after your phone call because….because of what I saw. And I have to change it."

Sam look befuddled for a moment, "What do you mean?"

Dean paused and looked away before looking back at Sam squarely in the eyes, "I saw a possible glimpse of the future. Zac showed it to me in hopes of me saying yes to Michael, but like I told him, it taught me a lesson, but not the one he wanted to teach. I couldn't let us just go our separate ways after seeing that. I saw an end result to that. I couldn't leave you like that and I couldn't leave me like that. But it seems, that you were going down that drain already, sooner and I didn't even realize it. I didn't realize...but that's no excuse. No…." Dean shook his head slowly, tears clouding his vision, "It wasn't that I didn't realize, it was that I choose not to realize. And I can't let that cost me, cost us."

Sam sucked in a breath, as more tears course their way down his cheeks. Slowly he began shaking his head, until it went faster and faster as he brought up his hands to either side of his head, the gun still in one hand.

"No, don't, Dean. Don't. You did nothing wrong. Nothing." He mumbled.

"Sam…"Dean took a few steps forward and touched his little brother only to have him dart away from him again, not looking at him, his long bangs shielding his expression. "Sam please, don't move away from me." He tried to touch Sam again but this time, Sam slapped his hands away.

"Don't, Dean." Sam looked brokenly at his older brother, lowering his hands plus gun, "Don't touch me."

"Why? Why won't you let me touch you?" Dean whispered.

Sam swallowed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He began to sob. "I can't do anything right. I couldn't do anything right. How low have I fallen?"

"Sam, please…."

"I didn't realize it until today. I didn't realize how far I have fallen until today. I didn't realize", Sam whispered in horror, "I tried to pretend otherwise. Tried to just past it off, but now the reality of it..."

A terrible thought came to Dean as he whispered, "Sam…all those times, when….when you zoned out….was…..was Lucifer reaching out to you. Talking to you? Did you talk to him?"

The heavy silence was answer enough and Dean closed his eyes tightly at that knowledge.

"I'm sorry, Dean", Sam murmured, "I'm so sorry."

"Were you….are you thinking of saying yes?" Dean pressed on, not wanting to ask, hating himself for asking but needing an answer anyway.

Sam only response was something of a wail. And Dean's response to that was to cross the short distance between them and throw his arms around his brother. Sam tried to move away, tried to push Dean away but Dean only tightened his embrace. Sam sobbed and his knees buckled making both of them sink to the ground.

Yet still, Dean didn't let go of his little brother, who still tried to move away, and finally succeeded, pushing Dean away from him.

"Don't touch me!" Sam sobbed out a growl.

"Why? Why won't you let me touch you?" Dean cried, tears beginning to fall down his face. "You let Lucifer hug you and you did nothing, why is my touch so abhorrent? Why, Sam?"

Sam only shook his head. "Your touch is not abhorrent to me. Don't you see? I'm the abhorrence! I'm the taint." He shot to his feet, making Dean follow his move, "I'm tainted! It was Lucifer who made me feel like I was worth something. It became Lucifer that talked to me, made me feel better. It became Lucifer who I had to rely on for comfort! Do you realize how low I've fallen? Can't you see now!"

Dean's felt as if he was going to be sick with grief.

"Can't you see!" Sam screamed at him. "If Lucifer and I have something in common, I have to be wrong on many levels. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to. God help me, I don't want to. I don't want to take comfort in an enemy like that. But I have nothing else. And after accidentally freeing Lucifer, I don't deserve anything else. I'm sorry for doing it. I'm sorry for so many things I can't take back, but those are just shallow words aren't they? Aren't they? They are meaningless! Meaningless! I don't have anything. Can't you understand that? I've lost everything I held dear and it hurts."

Sam reached his free hand up and bangs on his chest over his heart in emphasis, "It hurts. And I have to live with that. Every day I have to live with that. But I have no one else to blame for my pain, but myself. Dad was right. He was right all long."

Here, Sam grabbed Dean's hand and firmly slapped the gun in his hand, the first physical contact he allowed himself to have with his brother. He closed Dean's fingers around the handle of the gun, before sinking to his knees holding the barrel to the middle of his forehead looking up at Dean. Dean just stood shocked, slack jawed looking down at Sam who spoke again as Dean was too stunned for speech or action as he held the handle looking down at his younger brother as tears coursed down his cheeks.

"You should have done this long ago, Dean. You should have killed me long ago. Kill me, Dean. Execute me as you should have. If you had, then I would have never been here to free Lucifer. I would not be here having much in common with monster. But I guess, you draw what you are. I'm a monster, Dean. Please, just pull the trigger. Pull it and it'll all be over. I don't want to say yes. I don't want to fall that far, but I fear I will. I know I will, if I'm able to go on one second longer. I have no anchor, I have nothing. Nothing! And nothing will ever change that."

Sam seemed to run out of steam as he panted and spoke quietly, not clutching quite so tightly on the barrel of the gun, "Nothing can change that. I don't have strength to endure anymore. Not anymore. If I have to rely on someone, something, like Lucifer, then I'd rather be dead. I deserve to be dead. Kill me. Please, you'd do this world a favor. You'd do yourself a favor. It's okay. It's okay, Dean, it is. I know that now. I see that so clearly now. Please….please, this one last thing. Just this last thing. Kill me, please."

Sam lowered his head slightly, dropping his hand from the barrel and closed his eyes, acceptance and resignation written in his posture. His face was hidden from view by his long bangs, but Dean could see clearly the tears tracking down his face, as he made no sound waiting for him to pull the trigger.

Dean slowly began to realize the situation he was in, as everything caught up with him. His eyes widen as he took in the situation, making fresh tears pool out of his eyes. Blinked down at his younger brother, realized with a sick feeling, that Sam would allow this. That Sam had just begged for this. His eyes traveled to the gun that was being held in hand.

And suddenly it snapped for Dean.

So, he pulled the trigger.

**TBC…..**

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><p>A.N: I knooooow!<p>

I ended with a pull of a trigger…

Again!

This is what? The third chapter this story that ended with a pull of a trigger. It's becoming a bad habit, I realize.

But I'm really milking this LimpCow for all the milk it's worth.


	6. CH5: We Need Help

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: It's funny, I already know what's going to happen in this story and I got butterflies at the end of last chapter especially. I want to thank everyone for the favs/reviews/alerts! I'm glad people are interested in this story!

So read on, as I'm assuming after last chapter you want to hear less from me and more from the story. Enjoy!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Chapter 5: We Need Help<p>

The shot rang out in the echoes of the warehouse, following by a small shatter.

Sam blinked and slowly began to realize, that he wasn't dead. He should have been dead. Slowly he lifted his head to stare up at his brother, who was looking down at him, physically crying. Sam looked at him astonished, as his eyes slowly traveled the length of his brother's arm, which was held out from Dean's body, away from Sam.

Dean had swung his arm to the side and shot somewhere in the darkness of the warehouse.

With a sob, Dean let another shot ring out.

Followed by another.

It was only a few shots later that Dean kept clicking and no shot ring out marking the fact that it was clearly empty. Then Dean tossed it away from him before sinking to his knees, bringing his hands up to his face.

Sam just stared out at the area where Dean kept shooting even as he heard his brother crying, still clearly shocked. Slowly, though his head swung around to face his brother, fresh tears pouring down his cheeks.

For the longest while only Dean's sobs broke the would be silence.

Sam's mouth kept working though no sound came out.

It took awhile for him to get his voice to work and when he did, it was husky and broken, "You didn't….shoot me….why? You should have killed me."

Dean looked up then, anger flashing amidst the tears. "Kill my own brother?" he whispered before he repeated in near hysterics, "Kill my own brother? Commit fratricide? Are you insane? My younger brother, my only brother is asking his older and only brother to kill him? Am I the only one who sees what is wrong with this picture? Am I?" He reached out, his hand hovering between them.

Sam looked down at that trembling hand before slowly something compelled him to lift his own hand and he laid it tentatively, barely touching, over Dean's own.

Dean gave a breathless chuckle behind this. "My own little brother afraid to touch his big brother."

Sam stared at their hands, so similar, yet so different, "I don't deserve to. I am tainted."

It was then that Dean grabbed his hand and flipped it over, the palm facing up, making Sam jump. He tugged his hand back but Dean wouldn't let him as he studied it. "Show me the taint, Sam. I'm trying to find it, show it to me!"

Sam pleaded, "Dean…."

Dean looked up then, capturing Sam's eyes with his own and Sam found he couldn't look away. "Show me the taint", he demanded more forcefully.

Sam only shook his head, "It's not there. It's here." He brought his other hand to a fist and banged it over his heart.

Sam's heart skipped a beat when without preamble Dean brought his other hand up and pushed Sam's hand out of the way to lay his hand, palm flat over his rapidly beating heart.

Silence drifted for a bit.

"It's not something that you can see", Sam finally murmured, "It's something that existed within me."

"Sam, you have to talk to me. You aren't tainted and I don't want to hear you say such thing again." Dean stared straight at Sam seriously yet pleadingly, "But we need to talk. Do you understand that? I'm sorry, that I didn't sooner. I'm sorry for pushing you away, making you feel as though you couldn't come to me. But I'm here now. Please, you can't…" Dean trailed off before picking up his thought, "You can't want to kill you."

"I do."

"But you can't!" Dean moved both his hands to rest on his younger brother's shoulders, gripping his shirt, pleased that Sam didn't push him away.

He tensed but didn't push away.

Dean continued, "I meant the same thing then as I do now. I will never raise a gun to your head like that. Do you understand? And you have no right to do it for me!"

"No right? No right! No, you don't understand!" Sam slapped Dean's hands away with pain filled eyes. He stood up and turned around and proceeded to stomp to the door.

"Sam!" Dean quickly followed, gripping his shoulder only to shaken off. "I can't understand if you won't let me understand!"

Sam swung around and pointed a finger at Dean, "You can't understand! Do you get that? You can't!" His voice lowered and wavered almost brokenly, "You can't."

A lone tear made its way down Dean's cheek as he looked at Sam. He knew the gulf was wide between them but he never imagined how much it was.

How could he bridge it?

Sam looked around wearily, "Can we get out of here? The stench of blood is becoming…"

It was then Dean even realized the heavy stench of blood from the dead hunters. How long ago had that been?

Dean slowly nodded though his voice was hoarse, "Yeah, yeah, let's go."

He just realized that they would probably have to jazz up one of the dead hunter's ride back to the motel and…

They stepped outside and Dean blinked in surprise to find the Impala sitting there in all its glory.

"How….?" Dean whispered running up the Impala and peering in. Surprisingly their bags that they took in the motel were in the backseat. Dean opened it and pulled them out. He rummaged through them. They had unpacked but everything was there. Right down the number of bullets. "How?" Dean looked up, "Did the hunters do all this?"

It seemed unlikely.

Sam stood with his hands in his pocket. "Lucifer. He put this here" He stated simply.

Dean slowly nodded before opening the trunk and tossing the bags in. During that, Sam had gotten in the back seat. Dean was surprised when he got in the car. He twisted and look back at Sam who was laying down, as best he could, his back to Dean. Dean righted himself and for awhile they just sat there, neither saying anything.

Finally Dean asked, "Where to?"

"I don't care."

Sam's voice was hollow making Dean blinked his eyes rapidly. He looked out the window his hand coming up to rub his temple, his elbow resting on the door.

What could he do?

What did he need to do?

He needed to help Sam.

He needed to get Sam to talk to him.

He needed help.

A few stray tears fell down his cheeks. He wiped them away. Dean was getting tired of crying now. It wouldn't solve anything and he filled his quota for the year if you asked him.

He needed help.

He couldn't do this alone.

But...

His mind wandered to Bobby. He was only one that he could trust with this. He was the only one that wouldn't shut Sam out, that wouldn't condemn him. That wouldn't condemn Dean for not pulling that trigger.

The horror of that rose up almost making him puke right then and there. It took a few moments before he could settle his stomach enough to put the key in the ignition and drive away from this place of horror.

He couldn't get away fast enough.

Couldn't wait to get to Bobby's fast enough.

And couldn't wait to help Sam fast enough.

Cause time was ticking.

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

Tick-tock...

And Dean felt he was on a race, that depended not only on the outcome of Sam's life and soul as well as his own if he was honest with himself, but the outcome of their battle against the apocalypse.

It took two days to get to Bobby's. But when they turned into that junkyard, that evening, Dean could have kissed the ground when he got out. The ride to Bobby's was filled with tension and discomfort. They didn't stop at a motel. Sam didn't say anything about stopping and Dean being eager to get to Bobby's didn't offer. Sam didn't say anything that he didn't need to say….which wasn't much.

In fact he didn't even inquire as to where they were going.

And he always rode in the back seat, most of the time lying down, his back to Dean's. Dean drove pretty much two days without sleep. Sure he took longer breaks at night to get a few moments shut eye. But every time he closed his eyes, and saw that potential future, saw the desperation in Sam's eyes, begging him to execute him, it spurned him on, giving him the energy he needed to drive.

Dean did call Bobby on their way and even the older man could sense much was wrong just over the phone by the sound of Dean's voice. But he never could have guessed so much was wrong when he heard them pull up. He rolled out onto the porch in his wheelchair that he was still trying to get used to greet them. He squinted and he didn't see Sam in the passenger seat.

His worry went up a notch.

Dean was the first out the car and he looked so bone weary as he gave Bobby a small smile and nod which said male returned. Bobby frowned when the door opened and Sam came stumbling out from the backseat.

Bobby's furrowed his eyebrows at this. If Dean was a sight, then Sam was worse than Dean by his calculation.

Things had to be going really, really bad.

"Hey, Bobby, thanks for letting us stop by for awhile", Dean greeted, though his smile didn't reach to his eyes.

Bobby nodded, "As usual. You know you don't need an invitation, to stop by." His eyes traveled to Sam who was looking blankly at the ground. "Good to see you Sam."

It was then as if Sam just woke up, as he looked up and seemed surprise to see Bobby. Bobby frowned and glanced at Dean in question seeing the concern in his eyes as Sam looked around taking in his surroundings. "Oh, hey, Bobby", was his delayed greeting, as his small smile didn't even attempt to reach his eyes.

"I'm sure you boys are tired. Why don't you go lay down?" Bobby offered as he turned his chair around. Dean opened the door allowing him to roll into the house followed by the boys.

"Yeah, go ahead. Get settled, I'll get the bags", Dean murmured.

Sam looked at him a long moment before he nodded and trudged up the stairs. After he was gone, Dean gave a long sigh that had Bobby leading him to the dinner table and making him park it. He situated his wheelchair alongside Dean's chair and stared patiently as he was able at him. It near disturbed him even more that tears seem to gather in Dean's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I….I…..I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know….where else to turn to." Dean's voice choked.

"It's okay, boy." Bobby reached out and clutched Dean's shoulder in comfort and support. "It's okay."

Dean shook his head, "No, no it's not. It's so far from okay. It's….." Dean reached up and ran a hand through his hair before laying his head in his hand.

"Talk to me, Dean. Something wrong? What's happened? Was it a hunt?"

Dean shook his head and gave a laugh, "I wish it was. God I wish it was. We haven't hunted since we got back together."

Bobby was surprise to hear this. He knew that they had gotten back together and he was sure that their relationship now was tenuous at best, but he assumed that they would be hunting.

"What happened, Dean?"

To Bobby's horror, he saw a tear fall down Dean's cheek. Dean wiped it away, "I'm so sick of crying."

"Dean." Bobby was two steps away from shaking it out of Dean. This was beginning to scare him.

"I messed up", Dean looked up and at Bobby. "I…I messed up. I pushed Sam away. I invited him back because I realized after that time trip that we are better together."

Bobby remembered the brief words about it. Dean didn't go into detail, but Bobby knew basics.

"I wanted to change that. And I thought if we were together it would change it. But now I see, that it's not enough. It was never enough."

"What do you mean?" Bobby was feeling dread.

So Dean told him. He told him about the tension and fights between them. He told them about them getting nab by the hunters. He told him about Lucifer and Sam and how Sam wanted Dean to execute him and by the time he was done he was sobbing again.

"My God", Bobby breathed sitting back in his chair in shock.

"I don't know what else to do! I'm losing him Bobby. And I can't do this alone. I don't know what else to do. I didn't know who else to turn to."

"You did right coming, Dean. Know that. Somehow we'll get through to Sam."

Bobby only prayed that he was right.

**TBC…..**

* * *

><p>A.N: Enter some AwesomeFatherlyBobby!<p>

I might have wrote that in the summary, but I kinda wanted it to be a surprise in a way. That and I think Bobby sorta wrote himself into the story.

I hear you loud and clear, Bobby, you wanna help the boys.

Let's hope it helps. **  
><strong>


	7. CH6: Fighting for the Lost

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: This is gonna be fight on all sides! So let's tune in!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Fighting for the Lost<p>

After managing to calm, Dean down to a degree, Bobby made Dean go and turn in as well. He was still reeling from the revelations that Dean had brought him. He knew something was seriously wrong but he didn't know it was, well, seriously wrong. His stomach turned when Dean told him about Sam begging him to kill him.

Sam was always a fighter, always. He was not one to roll over like that.

And the fact that he was, was testament of how far the young man was falling. And Bobby could see Dean, slowly losing it over all of this.

It saddened Bobby deeply for he loved these boys like his own.

He was determined to help out in any way he could.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sam, sleep well?" Bobby asked as he watched the younger male come down the steps slowly, the next morning.<p>

Sam blinked and nodded, "Yes. Thanks Bobby. Good morning."

Dean had looked up from his mush bowl of oatmeal and looked uncertainly and solemnly at his younger brother who took a seat across from him. Sam didn't even look at Dean. Dean exchanged a glance with Bobby.

"We gonna stay here for awhile, okay?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded but didn't say anything as he fixed his hot cereal.

"You….uh….got no words for me?" Dean huffed out without malice in his voice but a little hurt, "You haven't said anything for the past two days."

Sam took a bite of his oatmeal, still not looking at Dean. "What do you want me to say?"

"What do you want to say?"

"I got nothing to say."

Dean dropped his spoon in his bowl and sighed wearily, "Sam…."

"Eat your cereal, Dean", Sam said by way of saying the conversation was over.

There was a brief moment of silence as Dean looking pleadingly at Bobby.

"Sam…" Bobby started slowly.

"Bobby. Please. I know that Dean probably told you but I don't want to talk about. I just...don't want to talk about it", Sam begged.

"It needs to be talked about. Sam, we're just worried about you."

Sam gave a hollow laugh and flopped back in his seat looking dejected, "There is no reason to worry about me, anymore. I'm not worth it."

"Do not say that!" Bobby snapped fiercely.

Sam just snorted and stood up meaning to go. Bobby blocked him, rolling into his way. Dean just sat with a pained expression as he watched the exchange.

"Out of my way, Bobby", Sam growled.

"No." came the simple reply.

"Get out...of my...way!", Sam rumbled.

Bobby was not impressed, "Unless you gonna push me over, I ain't budging an inch."

The two glared at each other and Dean held his breath. Finally Sam sighed, backed down and looked away, his bangs hiding his expression.

"What do you want from me?" he asked softly.

"Sam", Bobby gentled his voice, "We just want to see about you. You are part of this family and we care. We see you going down a dark road and we want to help you."

"I've been on a dark road since I was born", Sam breathed, "There is no getting off. I see that now. I see that so clearly. There is no hope."

"Sam!" Both Bobby and Dean cried, the latter shooting up from his chair, knocking it over.

Sam glazed at the two of them sadly and shrugged slowly, "It's the truth. It's nothing but the truth."

"It is not!" Dean cried, "It's not true. Sam, please, you have to listen to me. You can't believe that, you can't, after all we've been through. After all we've beaten, all the odds we've beaten time and time again, you cannot stand here and pitch that to me. You're a fighter, so you fight, dang it!"

"The fight ends sometime", Sam murmured quietly.

Bobby shook his head and added, "No, the fight doesn't end until it ends. You keep fighting, if you go down while fighting, then okay, you down, but at least you are fighting. You don't just give up when there is still fight to be fought. It's not right and it's not fair to those around you that would help you fight." Those words sunk into himself as he thought about his situation. Now was not the time for that. His boys needed him. He shook himself and continued, "Dean is right. You have to keep fighting. There is still hope, if you keep fighting. "

Sam only sighed and closed his eyes, "I don't believe it anymore. I can't believe it anymore. The only thing I believe in…" he trailed off.

Dean sucked in a breath trying to keep his voice from breaking as he asked breathily, "What…..is that Sam? What do you still believe in?" He knew from the way his heart was clenching that it was not a good thing.

For a long moment, Sam didn't answer. It wasn't until he slowly opened his eyes and looked at Dean, "I believe that if you kill me, everything would be better."

Dean had to grip the table, as he shut his eyes tightly, feeling sick. He couldn't speak as he fought hyperventilation.

"Sam….." Bobby swallowed, seeing the need to be the strong one here, "No one is offing anyone. No one, you got that? How could you ask such a thing of your brother? It's selfish, Sam to ask something like that of someone who clearly cares about you."

"No it isn't. It's what needs to be done."

"No, it's still selfish, no matter how much you want to dress it up. Why are you so insistent on this?"

Sam didn't take his eyes off Dean, hazel eyes drilling holes into his older brother. "If Dean kills me, Lucifer won't have a vessel and it will all be righted. I shouldn't be here. I see that so clearly now."

"Sam", Bobby surprised himself by his calm tone, "That isn't true. Can't you see plainly, how Dean feels about that idea? He didn't pull the trigger on you before, why would he now?"

"I see, but still it has to be done and I want no one else but Dean to do it. He'll come around. He'll see. He'll see this is how it needs to be. If he doesn't the Lucifer wins." Sam spoke quietly his eyes still on Dean.

Bobby asked cautiously glancing at Dean who was still struggling. "What do you mean, Lucifer wins?"

"Just what I mean. I can't fight him. I can't." The Sam added after a moment, so soft, both Bobby and Dean almost missed it, "And I almost don't want to, anymore."

Dean could no longer hold it back as he doubled over and threw up. Sam didn't seem affected by this as he stared sadly almost unblinkingly. Bobby rolled over and awkwardly tried to help Dean without getting his chair into the mess on the floor. When Dean felt nothing else was going to come up, he slowly looked up despairingly at his younger sibling.

"You can't mean that. You can't mean any of this. You just can't", Dean whispered pleading with Sam to tell him otherwise, "When did it go wrong? Where did it go wrong? What did I miss? This has to be a dream, a nightmare. Sam, please, you cannot mean what you say. You cannot ask this of me and expect that I would ever dream of doing such a thing. You can't!"

Sam lowered his head, breaking his intense eye contact. "I'm sorry."

"I won't kill you. I won't. I don't care what. I won't do it." Dean warned.

Sam looked up, searching his brother. Bobby looked between the two, near not breathing.

Finally Sam spoke, "You're strong enough to do this. You are."

"No I'm not, and I don't want to be", Dean hissed.

Sam said nothing at this.

* * *

><p>"We gonna get through this, Dean", Bobby stated glancing at the younger man.<p>

Afterwards, Sam had turned and disappeared upstairs. And after a moment of staring after his younger brother, Dean absently began to clean up the mess he made and even going through the motions of cleaning the table and the dishes. Bobby had situated himself in his 'office' watching Dean.

Now Dean laid on a nearby couch staring up at the ceiling. He hasn't said a word yet. And for awhile, Bobby didn't either, just absent mindly thumbing though this books.

Dean didn't respond to Bobby's statement. It was a moment before Bobby even tried again.

"Dean, did you hear me? We gonna get through this. We've got through everything else, we'll get through this."

Finally a cracked voice responded the body not moving an inch, "There is no need for false reassurances."

"Dean, I know you are hurt and scared. Heck, I am scared out of my wits as well, but you can't give up, now, boy. Sam has already gone down that road. I can't have both of you on that road. There is only so much I can do. Sam still needs you, he needs his big brother. If he can see that, there is still a chance. We all know you two work best together. That's why you've survived all these years. And ultimately you are the one who is going to have to get through to him."

"I can't." came the broken whisper.

"What do you mean you can't?"

Dean shrugged, "I just can't. He's gone. You know? He's far gone, to believe all of that. I never thought I'd see the day my pain in the butt baby brother would just give up. It was never his style. If we went out fighting that's one thing, but to just lay down and die, that's completely unheard of for us. For Sam. But he's there. His mind is there and there's no changing it."

Bobby lost it and slammed his hand on the desk, making Dean jump his head snapping towards Bobby in surprise. His wide eyes might have been comical if not for this serious moment.

"Boy, don't you go there! Don't you tell me what you can't do! You are Winchesters, and Winchesters have a mile wide stubbornness. Just because Sam lost his fight, doesn't give you permission to lose your fight. All the more reason to fight harder. You are just letting everything evil from Lucifer, on down to the 2hour salt and burn ghost win and you didn't come this far to just give up! Hunters have a short life span for the most part, but we have all made it and beat the odds. And we keep doing so. You don't just give up after all that, you fight, darn it! How many times were any of us suppose to be dead, but we aren't? We can't just throw that away just because we are tired! Seriously, Dean, you have came back from hell, Sam has come back from the dead. Don't let that mean nothing now!"

Dean heard Bobby but still muttered bitterly looking away, "And look how well that turned out."

Bobby growled, "Dean, just because I'm in a wheelchair does not mean I don't know how to work a gun. I'm in a wheelchair Dean, would you like it if I just gave up? Maybe I should just give up!"

"No!" Dean cried vehemently, looking back at their second father, with wide eyes.

"Well, I've thought about, just so you know!" Bobby pressed on, "I've thought about giving up, but every time I remember what the two of you would feel like. There are days I will wish I could put a bullet in my head, turn out the lights! But I don't! I don't give up! But I wish sometimes I could! I really do!"

His eyes blazed as he continued, "Maybe since Sam is giving up, and you are giving up, maybe I should just give up and check out too. What's the point in me keep fighting then, huh? And then once I give up, maybe the dude next door will hear about it and decide to give up as well and the chick across county and give up, then the the kid in the next state can give up... we could get really stupid and ridiculous, here Dean. Is that what you want? It's like dominoes! Do you want the dominoes to fall? Cause I got a gun in my desk and we can end all this quick and easy!"

To illustrated his point, Bobby yanked open the drawer and pulled out a gun and tossed in on his desk."Feel free", he snarked sarcastically sitting back in his chair, fully tapped out by now. To his surprise and a little bit of horror, he found his eyes a little wet. He blinked rapidly watching Dean.

Dean looked shocked and horrified at this at this. He jumped up and snatched the gun out of Bobby's reach as if fearing said man would do something. But then he couldn't stand the feel of the gun in his hands and even looking at it was making him relive yesterday. His eyes darted around wildly before he came around and yanked the drawer open and dropped the gun inside before slamming it shut, making the desk rattle.

Then he turned and leaned on it as he stared dry mouth at Bobby. "Bobby...you can't! You can't do such a thing! I mean, were you really...I mean, did you really feel..."

Bobby gave a sigh, "Dean, the only reason I'm telling you, is so I don't have to physically try to knock some sense into you. We keep going. We keep going to the end. So suck it up and come off the pity party you are going down! There are bigger things afoot. Sam needs you! Sam needs his big brother desperately right now and he doesn't even know it! I believe, no..."Bobby drawled before continuing, "I know the only reason he's so lost and turning to Lucifer is because he feels he doesn't have anyone on his side. What did you say he said, that he had lost everything he held dear? You have to prove him wrong. Look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy by any means but you have to fight for him, if you want even the slightest chance of getting him back. And if you fight, then there's always the chance. You and I know he needs you even if he had forgotten. Maybe he feel like he has been up against it by himself for so long he have forgotten what it's like to have someone by his side. I don't know, you'd have to ask him, but bottom line don't throw away all you've accomplish now! You keep fighting. If you need to break and regroup then fine, but you don't stay broken. You fight for your brother. You fought this long, why give up now?"

Bobby realized that a lot of what he was saying was applying to himself as well. He felt he need to set more of a good example now. These boys meant everything to him, and if they were willing to continue fighting, how could he do anything less? He thought upon this and realized it made so much sense.

Dean's eyes misted and he lowered his head, full of shame at his previous thoughts.

Bobby let out a long, hard sigh before pulling a random book off a pile. "Now, see, you've ran up my blood pressure!" he snapped opening it and muttered, "Let me try to calm down." Then he added as an afterthought, "Idigits."

Silence reigned for awhile as Dean retreated into himself, doing some serious thinking. Bobby was right; Dean couldn't just give up now. Wasn't that letting Lucifer win? Wasn't that just handing over everything they fought so hard for on a silver platter no less?

Wasn't that letting Sam down?

He had done that enough lately. He needed to step up his game.

Not to mention, wasn't it wrong to just give up like that? They were fighters and it went against their every nature to just lay down and die. If that was truth, they could have put a bullet in their heads a long time ago. Dean knew the angels thought that humans were worthless drivel, but they were also fighters. When humans were born it was in their nature to fight. So why would they change that?

Especially if they fought for the things that were important to them.

Fight for love.

Fight for family.

Fight for friends.

Fight for people in general.

If you fought for nothing else than that, wasn't it enough to wake you up in the morning?

Dean certainly began to think so. He had done nothing but fight for his family and friends his entire life, so why would he give that up now?

He wouldn't.

What's more, he couldn't.

Didn't want to.

Dean lifted his head and studied the older man next to him, "Bobby."

"What?" came the soft bark.

Dean kept staring hard at the older man until finally Bobby sensed this and looked up, "What?" he repeated.

It was a moment before Dean spoke slowly, searching, Bobby's eyes, "You're right. You're absolutely right. I shouldn't give up, I shouldn't have entertained that thought. That's part of the reason we are in this mess right now, because Sam gave up. This, all this, should just make me fight harder. You're right."

"That's nice to know. I'm glad something got through that thick skull of yours", Bobby turned back to his book.

"Bobby?"

"What?"

"Look at me?"

Bobby sighed and slowly looked up, "What?"

Dean shifted but didn't break eye contact, "You have to promise me, that you won't off yourself. That you wouldn't check out. That you'll keep fighting as well. I don't want the dominoes to fall."

"Dean….." Bobby groaned, lowering his eyes.

"Promise me!", Dean said harshly, shifting his body to face Bobby, leaning on the desk, "I don't want to worry about you too. I don't want to come over one day and find you are dead or something. I don't want to entertain the idea, that I might ring that doorbell and find you with a bullet in your head. If you want me to fight, I'll fight, but I can't do it alone. I just can't. I got Sam off the deep end, and I'm gonna fix that. I'll fight to my dying breath over that, but I don't need you off the deep end too. I can't lose you and when I get Sam back in his right mind, neither can he. So, promise me!"

Bobby looked up, straight into Dean's eyes, "I promise", he intoned solemnly.

"You swear?"

"Yes, Dean, I swear. If you are willing to keep fighting, I'll fight."

"Deal, it's a pact, then You fight, which make me fight, and I'll fight for Sam."

"So who does Sam fight for?"Bobby's mouth twitched.

Dean's mouth twitched as well for the light moment they were sharing, "Sam would fight for me and you."

"And I'd fight for both of you."

"And I'd fight for you and Sam."

Bobby chuckled, "Okay, then." He saw Dean scrutinize him and asked with fond exasperation, "What?"

"You swear? You really promise that you won't off yourself one morning", Dean sounded like a little kid.

Bobby turned as best he could and reached a hand and clutched Dean's arm, looking at him, "I promise you, Dean. You don't have to worry about me."

"And if you feel yourself cracking, you'll talk to me?"

Bobby nodded without hesitation, "I will. I swear it to you Dean."

Dean studied him a moment before he slowly nodded and straightened making Bobby's hand drop from his arm. "Good."

He proceeded to walk out only to pause in the doorway. "Hey, Bobby?" He looked over his shoulder.

Bobby groaned good-naturedly, "What now?"

Dean gave a small grin the first that Bobby has seen in awhile, "Thanks."

Bobby waved him off, "Yeah, yeah."

Dean's grin widened as he turned from the door to go upstairs. His grin melted away as a look of determination began to seep into his features. He wouldn't fail Sam now. He would fight, he wouldn't let Sam go without a fight.

To Lucifer, to the grave or otherwise.

And he made that promise to himself.

**TBC...**

* * *

><p>A.N: Apparently, listening to Bobby paid off! He came out with much more to say and frankly, he's right!<p>

Did I mention the AwesomeFatherlyBobby shines here if you ask me?

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Dean's getting geared up! So now that Dean's back on board and Bobby's on board, all that's left is to get Sam back on board.

So, will Dean succeed or will Sam be lost forever?

Stay tuned!


	8. CH7: Teetering on the mere edge

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: After last chapter, there maybe a glimmer of hope now that Dean is finish pity partying (though he deserved it for about half a second) and gathered his determination. And we all seen what happens when Dean gets determined.

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: Teetering on the mere edge<p>

Sam closed the door, quietly behind him and leaned on it. He didn't know how long he stood like that, as his shoulders started to shake.

He didn't know why Dean wouldn't do it. Why wouldn't Dean kill him? Even after begging and pleading he wouldn't. Couldn't he see this needed to be done?

Sam had thought about pulling the trigger himself, but he admits he's too cowardly to do so. He stared long and hard at a 45 after his first visit with Lucifer but he found he lacked the strength and will to do so. What's more, Sam felt that he didn't deserve such an easy way out. He felt if Dean killed him, then it would more just.

But Dean steadily refused to pull the trigger.

What was so hard about it?

They had killed monsters left and right before without thought, but now Dean hesitated.

Couldn't Dean see, he had a monster for a brother?

With a small sob he slowly dropped to his knees, his hands flat on the door, his head leaning on it.

Couldn't Dean see that?

Why was he so blind?

Sam shut his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that leaked through.

_Oh, Sam….still you suffer. _

A low moan slipped from Sam's lips, as he heard the familiar silk caressing voice.

_My heart aches for you, my son. Still you continue to allow yourself to suffer. Still you let them allow you to suffer when you can end it so easily. _

**Go away! Please go away! **Sam thought desperately.

_I can't. Your pain is too much. It breaks my heart. _

**Don't do this me. Please, just leave me alone. Why can't you leave me alone?**

_I told you, Sam. I can't let you suffer like this. We are connected and I feel your pain sharply. I offer you a way out. _

**I don't want it! I don't want it... **

_What choice do you have? What do you have? If there was another way, you'd take it wouldn't you? But there isn't another. Stop this incessant suffering. Allow yourself to put an end to it. _

"No", Sam moaned, as soft sobs began to escape him.

_Your brother has given up on you. He has given up. You know that what I say is true. He has long since given up on you. All he was doing was trying to keep a leach on you lately, make sure that you don't do anything else he considers stupid. That is all you are now. A dog to be kept on watch. _

Sam let out a small scream as he pushed off the door and stumbled over to his bed and sat down heavily. He clutched his head and began unconsciously rocking himself.

Lucifer purred, _My son. I don't say this to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you. I'm trying to help you. I'm the only one you can turn to now. I'm the only one here with you. You are in completely darkness and I'm the only one here holding out his hand to help you through. All I ask is that you take my hand…_

**I shouldn't have to. **Sam groaned out, rocking faster,"I shouldn't have to." He murmured aloud repeating his thought.

_Perhaps, not. But you know you have to. It is the cards dealt to you. Play them. Don't be ashamed. If this is what you need to feel better, there is no shame in taking it. Don't let the others, tell you otherwise. For once, you need to do what makes you feel good. You have sacrificed all your life and what has it got you? ,_Lucifer's voice became stern, _Answer me, Sam, what has it got you? _

"Nothing", Sam moaned.

Lucifer's voice gentled again, _Exactly and for that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it had to be this way. Come on Sam, it's a very simple phrase. Let yourself go. Let all of it go. Just let it go. Just breathe and let it go. It'll be okay. I'll catch you, my son. _

**And you can guarantee…Dean's safety?**

Lucifer sighed slightly annoyed, _Yes, Sam, I can._

**Why are you annoyed? I need for Dean to be okay. If nothing else I need for him to be okay. **

_I'm sorry, Sam. My apologize. I know how much Dean means to you, but your request is not exactly easy. _

**But you can...do it, right? You can make sure he's safe…..no matter what?**

_I can and I will._

Sam slowly unclutched his head as he slowly stopped rocking. One of his legs started bouncing up and down, instead as he thought hard about it. Slowly, he lifted his head letting his hands fall down in his lap. He stared absently out the window, never hearing the door as it eased open.

"Sam?" came the soft inquiry.

Sam said nothing. Dean shut the door behind him and leaned on it briefly, studying the back of Sam. He swallowed before slowly making his way to Sam's side. He sat down slowly and reached out to touch Sam's arm. Dean noticed that Sam, looked zoned out and sucked a breath.

"Sam." He called before it became more insistent. He shook his younger brother once, "Sam!"

Sam blinked slowly once, before blinking rapidly, before gradually turning his head in Dean's direction. "Dean?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Sam stared at Dean for the longest while. He didn't even realize that Dean was touching his arm lightly otherwise he would have shook him off.

"You okay, buddy?" asked Dean.

Sam's head cocked confused. Dean seemed…different.

In a good way, of course.

Still it was weird what he was seeing. He seemed more his old self or something. "Are you?" he asked.

Dean gave a small smile but didn't answer. He tried to keep the infliction out of his voice, "Was that Lucifer on the other line?"

Sam swallowed and lowered his eyes and that was all the answer Dean needed. He closed his eyes briefly before opening them. "We'll get through this. Do you understand? I'm not giving up on you. I'm not. I won't." Dean shook his head.

Sam lifted his head and looked at Dean. He saw what was different at that moment.

He saw it clearly.

It was sheer determination at Dean's best and beyond.

Before, it would have comforted him, but now it scared him.

When Dean got determined about something, he normally got what he wanted, especially when Sam was concerned.

Sam darted out of his seat, moving away from Dean. "But you have to do it. You have to! Why do you delay this?" Sam glared down at Dean.

Dean knew exactly what Sam was talking about but shook his head not breaking eye contact with his sibling. "Not happening, Sammy. I'm not delaying anything because I _**refuse**_ to do it."

All that Dean said, bypassed him, except for one thing that stuck. Sam's face scrunched in confusion ask he asked, "What did you call me?"

Dean stood slowly and repeated himself, "Not happening, Sammy."

"Sammy?" Sam questioned as if he never heard of the name before, cocking his head.

"Yes. Sammy."

There was a brief pause, "It's been a long time since I've heard that name."

"I know and it's been too long since you've heard it and I've said it. Far too long", Dean's face tightened, "And for that and more I'm sorry, but I'm here now. We'll get through this, Sammy. We will. You just have to believe that."

_And we know how that plays out._ Came a soft irritated sigh.

**What do you mean?**

_Sam, do I have to spell it out? You go back there and you'll be trapped in another round of sacrificing and more pain. I don't want that for you. _

**But what if….?**

_No, ifs, Sam! Dean is just doing this for his own peace of mind! Remember the dog. That's you, Sam! He's trying to put you back on a leach. _

Dean saw that Sam zoned out and panicked. He crossed the distance and gripped Sam's shoulders, shaking him. "Whatever he's telling you, its lies, man! All lies!"

Sam ripped away from him, glaring at him, all traces of Dean's work from moments ago gone. "He's right. Lucifer's right. You are just doing this for your own peace of mind. To put me on a leach again, to make me suffer more! Because that's how you get your kicks, isn't it?" he growled.

"No! God, no!" Dean cried horrified at the things coming out of his little brother's mouth, "That's not true, Sammy! I don't put you on a leach for my own sick pleasure. Yes, I try to keep you close because I care about you not because I get my kick in seeing you suffer. My entire life, has been about keeping you away from as much suffering as I possibly could."

And Dean had done a pretty good job.

It wasn't perfect because he could only do so much.

But he had done a good job, because if it wasn't for him, Sam would have broken long ago, and probably would have been dead long before that. Dean was his tower of strength but right now Sam had forgotten that totally and completely.

And it hurt Dean to see this.

But he was determined to make it right.

He had fought and won before, he would not lose this time.

He wouldn't lose at this kind of game.

He just wouldn't.

He refused!

"Yes, it is! It is! All you've done my entire life was keep me close. I thought it was because you cared, but now I see", Sam looked lost, "It was because you needed to keep me on a leach."

"That is not true! I just said that I care about you. Yes, I know that I have a hard time letting you be your own person from time to time but that is only because I want you safe and I would do anything to see to that. God, Sam, can't you see? Have you forgotten that much? Has Lucifer blinded you that much? What is he even saying to you? It's not true. None of it is."

In the ear and out the other, "I'm nothing but a dog to you, aren't I?" Sam asked hurt in his eyes and coldness in his voice.

"God, no!" Dean all but screamed.

Sam blew him off and stalked over to the door, throwing it open with a loud bang, tears clouding his eyes. Why couldn't he have seen this before now? Why did it take all of this? Now he realized, Dean would never kill him. Dean would never relinquish his control like that. Never.

And to kill Sam, meant relinquishing his control.

And Dean would never.

_I'm so sorry Sam, _Lucifer cooed from afar.

Dean followed behind Sam as he darted down the steps, "Sam! You can't believe this! I kept you close to me, because I care about you. I love you, darn it! Do you hear me, I love you! You're my little brother and practically raised you! You aren't a dog! You never were! Is that what Lucifer is trying to pitch to you? It's not true! Can't you see it's all a ploy to get you to say yes!"

Sam's head was swimming. He had heard similar speeches before, but now he didn't know what to believe anymore. It was hard to know anymore.

_Do what your heart tell you, Sam. Allow yourself the peace you deserve. You know you don't want this life anymore. I can offer better. My son…. _

Sam gave a small gasp as his hand flew up to the side of his head. "I don't know….I don't know anymore. It's so hard. I don't know what the road is anymore. I can't see the road."

_But you see my hand don't you? Take it. I'm offering it to you. Look Sam, you see it, don't you? _

And Sam did.

But he hesitated to take it so readily.

"Sam, let me help you. If you are lost, it's my job to put you back on the right path again. Let's make this right. Please, let me make this right. I'm begging you!" Dean pleaded.

Sam only response was a low moan. Bobby had rolled into the doorway from his 'office' and was watching with wide-eyes at this development.

He didn't dare intrude.

But he was there for support, if nothing else than silent support.

"Why? Why? Why? It's easier for you to not have me to deal with me, isn't it?" Sam looked up and glared at Dean "Admit it! When we were apart, you loved the fact that you didn't have to deal with me and all the baggage I bring. All I do is sacrifice left and right, trying to do right and what does it get me? What does it get me? Nothing!" He screamed then slowly shook his head, having to reach out behind him and use the kitchen counter to hold him up as he murmured, "And I'm tired of fighting. Why shouldn't I do what makes me feel good for once? Why shouldn't I do what gives me the most peace?"

"As you should, my son."

Everyone turned to the door to see NickLucifer leaning on it. Sam let out a moan, Dean a growl and Bobby a gasp.

"You're not welcome here!" Dean growled.

Lucifer looked unperturbed at Dean, "I didn't say you could talk."

And to Dean utter annoyance he found he could not move or talk like he was a couple of days ago. Bobby was the same way.

"Why are you here?" Sam asked softly his voice weary.

Lucifer walked over to stand in front of Sam, blocking him from view from Bobby and Dean. "Haven't I said it before? Your pain makes me come; it beckons me. I can't ignore it."

Sam only look away. "I'm sorry. So sorry."

"Why do you apologize?"

To Dean disgust once again, Lucifer reached out and wrapped his arms around Sam like a child. And to Bobby's shock and Dean's even more disgust, Sam slowly wrapped his arms around the older man and buried his face in his shoulder like a 6 year old. Sam let out a shuddering sob, before crying. Lucifer rubbed small circles in the middle of Sam's back.

"Sam, Sam, Sam", he sighed, "What am I going to do with you? I'm offering the solution right under your nose, and still you refuse to take it. What are you afraid of? If you are afraid of condemnation from your brother and your so called second father here, take heart, you won't be aware of it. I'll make sure that you aren't so it doesn't make you suffer any more. I'll take away everything so it doesn't make you suffer."

Lucifer pulled Sam back and gripped the side of his head with his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes. "When did Dean ever do that? He can't. He can't make you not suffer the way I can. Your strength is below zero, so please do yourself a favor, and quit torturing yourself like this." He used his thumb to wipe away another tear that fell down Sam's cheek. "It breaks my heart."

'You don't even have one, you ^$%!" Dean yelled though once again he was yelling at himself.

Sam's eyes darted over Lucifer's shoulder to the two of them. "Promise me Dean's safety."

"We've been through this, Sam. I have", Lucifer explained patiently.

Sam wet his lips as his eyes darted around, "Then promise me one more thing."

"Anything, my son."

"Promise me, Bobby's safety."

"Next you'll be making me promise the world's safety." Lucifer chuckled lightly.

"Just those two. They are the most important me to me! I want a guarantee, on both Dean's and Bobby's safety."

"If that's what it takes, very well. I promise."

"Once more thing", Sam asked tentatively.

Lucifer stared hard at Sam a long while making Sam flinched. "Very well, my son. But this is the last guarantee I'll make you. "

Sam breathed a sigh of relief, "I want you to give Bobby back his legs. You can do that, can't you?"

Lucifer tsked as his hands fell to Sam's shoulders, "You drive a hard bargain, Sam."

"Please?" Sam murmured.

Lucifer paused a moment before smiling and hugging Sam close. "Very well. I could deny you nothing, my son." He waved his hand behind him, "As of now, Bobby can walk."

Bobby's eyes widen at this, and Dean's we already wide. Could Lucifer actually do that?

"Okay….alright…." Sam murmured.

Dean panicked and desperately fought the stiffness. He had to get through to Sam before it was too late.

Sam closed his eyes and slowly opened his mouth….

**TBC…..**

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><p>A.N: It's kinda funny, I was killing my own nerves writing this story and even reading it, really.<p>

Sam's gonna say yes, isn't he?

Or is he?

Hmm…...we have a dilemma to get resolved.

Or not.

Or maybe so...

Or not...

Hm...

(I admit I may be enjoying this a little too much... Also, who else is getting tired of Lucifer butting in left and right?)


	9. CH8: The hands offered in the darkness

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Oh no! Is Sam gonna say yes?

BTW, I seriously thought Ch. 3 would be the longest (it was at the time), but after revising and re-reading this one topped that one. lol.

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Chapter 8: The hands offered in the darkness<p>

"I need a little more time", Sam murmured.

"Sam….." Lucifer warned.

"Please", Sam opened his eyes his eyes searching Lucifer willing him to understand, "I just…I don't know right now at this moment. I'm so confused, right now." He raised a hand to his head, "I need to think. Please, just for a bit. Come back tomorrow. I'll give you an answer tomorrow, I promise."

Lucifer gave a patient sigh and patted Sam's head. "Very well. Tomorrow then." He took a step back and in a blink of an eye he disappeared and both Bobby and Dean could move and talk once more.

Dean rushed over and grabbed Sam by the shoulders, who refused to look at him, "Tomorrow? You're planning to say yes, aren't you?"

"Bobby?" Sam asked. Dean looked behind him wide eyed as Bobby stood without wobbling.

Bobby didn't really put much stock in what Lucifer said, but he wanted to see if it was true. And to his surprise it was.

Sam gave a relieve sigh as Bobby took a tentative step. "He did it. He really did it!"

Bobby amazement turned into consternation as he looked up at Sam, "I didn't want it like this. Do you understand that, boy?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does, do you think I'm gonna sit back and let Lucifer put me in his own protective custody? I'll fight him with my dying breath. I'd fight him."

"Lucifer promised. I don't know how he's gonna guarantee both of ya'll safety but he will."

"Lucifer is lying to you! Why do you believe him?" Dean questioned urgently.

"Because he promised."

"Cause he promised?"

"Yes, Dean, he promised to never lie or trick me."

"Again, how do you know he's not lying? That's exactly what he's doing, Sam! He's doing this to manipulate you! Sure you've managed to get, what three whole wishes out of the genie but it's all to his end and purpose. You are playing right into his hands."

By this time, Bobby had slipped out, knowing that Dean needed to do this by himself. But he didn't wander far. In fact, he spent his time going up and down the basement stairs just because he could. It was exhilarating!

Sam twisted away from Dean, circling the small table before turning to face Dean, leaning on it. "Dean, when do I get something for myself? I need peace, Dean. Why can't you see that? You refuse to grant me such a mercy by the pull of the trigger so why do you deny me this?"

"Because it's not right and you know it! Not everything that comes easy is right, you know this! And it's too easy to just give up, roll over and die. Way too easy!" Dean exploded slamming his hands onto the table, leaning to face Sam. "And I know a part of you know this Sam! "

"How the heck would you even know that? That's not true!" Sam fumed upset that Dean touched a nerve.

"I do too! I know you too well, Sam. Why else are you hesitating so long? Because you know that it's wrong, but you are too afraid to come back to what's right. You are straddling a line, Sam and you won't just jump into the pasture you know is right. And part of that is my fault I know. You've been on that line for so long and now you feel as though the right way is just as poisonous as the wrong way. So what different does it make if the right and wrong way are just as bad. May as well make your life easy and just go the wrong way, right? Wrong!" Dean banged is hand on the table unconsciously for emphasis.

"Lucifer is lying! Everything he says is cleverly crafted to suit his purpose and get what he wants, it's what he does! Read the fine print, under Lucifer you see the word Devil and one of his stipulations is the use temptation and twist everything you hold dear, into something unrecognizable. He doesn't care about you, me or anyone else. Only him, he's a greedy #^$$ and you know this as well as I do! It's what he does, Sam! It's what he does and you know this." Dean pointed at Sam, "Somewhere in you, you know this!"

Dean wasn't finished yet, but in the back of his mind he was surprised yet happy that Sam just stared at him, listening but not interrupting.

That meant something, right?

Dean had to believe that.

"You still have strength. No matter what you think or what Lucifer want's to sell you, I'm here to tell you, that you still have strength. I'm looking at you and I know you and I see it clearly. I know it's hard and I can buy that your tank is extremely low but it's not non-existent. Because, you Sam are not a quitter. You don't quit, you don't! It's not in your nature! It's not in my nature! It's not in any decent human beings nature! It just isn't! We were raised to be fighters not quitters and I know you still have that in you. I know somewhere a part of you is still clinging to that. I know it as I know myself. Somewhere you still have the strength and will to keep going, to never quite even in the final inning, but it's buried so deep you either don't know it's there anymore or don't know how to access it. You still have strength to endure, but won't let me help you! Let me help you and we can find it! I'm here! I'm here and I'm ready to help you! But you have to let me! You have to let me in!"

Dean stopped, panting, out of breath by his long winded his speech, but he needed to get it out.

Both of the brother's eyes were glassy as they stared at each other.

Dean pleaded again, his voice soft, "Let me help you..."

Finally Sam responded as his voice wavered, "I don't understand. I don't get it", he lowered his head.

Dean spoke softly his eyes never leaving Sam, "What? Talk to me, Sam. What aren't you getting? That's what I'm here for. I can't make you get what I don't know you don't get."

There was a still moment that was tense.

"Why?" Sam asked brokenly lifting his head to search Dean's eyes for the answer he sought, "Why do you persist? Why? "

"Isn't it obvious, Sam?" Dean whispered.

The questioning look that Sam gave made Dean's heart break. Had Sam really forgotten? Had it really been that long since Sam knew? Had it really been that long since it was obvious? Dean guess looking back, it was.

And it pained him.

"Because, you're my little brother and…..I love you."

Sam looked shocked at this simple statement that flew past him earlier when Dean said it and Dean was shocked at Sam being shocked.

Sam twitched and shifted on his feet, his eyes darting around. "No…..no…..you can't. You can't love me, not anymore. Don't you get it? I'm a taint."

"You are not tainted, Sammy!" Dean hissed, his eyes flashing.

Sam only hung his head.

Dean was not a praying man, but now he prayed desperately for something to get through to Sam. It had to.

It was now or never.

He'd lose him if he couldn't break through now and he couldn't do that. He couldn't chance losing his brother after all of this.

"You once told me that it hurt here", Dean reached up a hand to thump lightly on his own chest over his heart.

Sam saw this and nodded slowly, "Yes."

"What hurts?"

Sam shook his head and pushed off from the table with the intention of going back upstairs, but Dean blocked his way. So instead Sam turned and went into Bobby's "office". Dean grabbed his arm only to have Sam push him off.

"Not this time", Dean murmured and forcibly gripped Sam's arm. Sam tried to shake and push him off but found he could not.

Or maybe a part of him, didn't want to, but another part of him still felt compelled to fight.

"Sammy, please, listen to me." Dean begged.

Sam leaned on the wall, Dean in front of him. "Not like you are giving me choice", he glared with glossy eyes. "I'm never given a choice."

"Yes, you are! Alright fine, there were choices made for you that you didn't get to choose what you would have liked. I know that, but there were so much that you did."

A tear slipped down Sam's face. "It wasn't enough, apparently. Nothing I did was enough."

"Sammy", Dean groaned, "Tell me, once and for all. What is needed to help you? Anything. What is it? Besides pulling the plug on you." He added as Sam opened his mouth.

"Then that doesn't constitute as anything."

"Anything else reasonable then?"

"Killing me is reasonable."

"Sam!" Dean snapped.

Sam eyed Dean for a few moments and Dean stared right back waiting. "Can you change the past?"

Dean heart sunk and Sam gave a hollow laugh, leaning his head back on the wall, "No, you can't. Because if you could, I'd go back to accidentally freeing Lucifer. No, further back, I wouldn't have been so stupid to follow Ruby. I would have listened to you instead of attacking you, choking you like I did." Sam shook his head, tears gathering in groves in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks, "No, even further. I wouldn't have let you make that stupid deal for me!"

"Hey! It wasn't stupid! I never regretted that for one moment!" Dean broke in.

"Better yet…" Sam continued without responding to Dean's comment, "…..you should have let me stay dead."

"Sam…" Dean breathed his voice breaking.

"But even further, all those times you saved me from near death you should have let me die. And better still, back to my birth, I should have never been born. Maybe a different egg should have hatched and another person and different person, a better brother, a better person would be standing here and you wouldn't be having this conversation. Maybe you'd be normal. And I'd be non-existent. I'd be non-existent."

Sam was sobbing by now as he slid down the wall. Dean followed him down, still not releasing his grip. It was a moment before he pulled Sam to him, hoping that Sam wouldn't pull away. To his utter relief, Sam didn't, but instead, wrapped his arms around Dean.

Dean would take the small victories as it came.

"We can get through this. We can if we do it together. We always worked best together. Look at how much we accomplished. Don't look at our failures, because that is sure way to be crushed, but instead look at the good things. We can do this. Take it in stride, day by day and we can get through but you can't say yes to Lucifer. You can't. That is not the way. You can beat this. We can beat this, but only if you have the strength to endure." Dean murmured.

Sam shuddered, "I don't have anymore. I can't."

"Yes, you can. And if you feel you don't, you can borrow some of mine."

Sam let out a laugh among his sob, making Dean's mouth twice in the smallest smile.

"Please, Sam. We've fought this long. Let's go all the way. Don't let Lucifer win. Not like this. Not ever."

There was no reply until a few minutes passed.

"I was planning to say yes."

Dean swallowed, closing his eyes tightly. He figured as much. "Are you now?" he asked.

Sam paused a moment too long for Dean's comfort as he stuttered out, "I…..I don't know…..I want to. God, I want to, only because I want it to end. I just want to see and know there is an end to this."

The way he phrased that gave Dean wild hope.

"I'm sorry that you feel everything is against you. I'm sorry that I ditched you when you needed me most. I knew you were sorry for following Ruby and releasing Lucifer..." Dean murmured.

"I didn't deserve your trust after what I did. You don't have to apologize."

"Sam, yes you lost my trust and yes I was mad, but I shouldn't have held it against you forever like I was planning on doing. I should have given you a way to rebuild that trust and I didn't and for that I'm sorry. I couldn't see that not trying to work with you, if you were sincere..."

"I was. I am." came the soft reply.

Dean smiled once, running his hand through Sam's hair, "I know you were. I know you are. I couldn't see that not trying to work with you, was hurting not only you but me as well. I wasn't happy without you by my side. I tried to pretend otherwise but I wasn't. And seeing what I could become without you..." He trailed off for a moment before coming back, "I couldn't see that. I should have tried to start finding a way to forgive you. I think it was you who told me long ago...something about forgiveness sets your free and for you and the other person or something like that."

A small chuckle, "Something like that."

That small chuckle lightened Dean's heart, "But I'm back now. I'm not against you and neither is Bobby. We'll get through this the way we did everything else, together. Sam…." Dean stopped here to pull Sam away and clutch the each side of his face with his hands. He saw the tear tracks on Sam's face as he looked at him, "You cannot do this. Not only would I suffer and Bobby because we lost you, but the world would because a madman is roaming. You can't. Would you condemn the world like that?

Fresh tears sprung in Sam's eyes as his eyes slid away from Dean's, "I don't want to. But I don't have anything strength to fight. I love both you and Bobby enough to see to you all's safety but the world…I don't know that it matters to me that much."

Dean saw that Sam felt bad for feeling that way and grasped at that straw. "I know it's hard. I do, but let's take this one step at a time, okay? The bigger picture can be crushing I know, so let's just break it down like a fraction."

Sam's mouth twitched once. "You don't do well with fractions, Dean."

Dean never thought he'd be so glad to hear an insult to his intelligence as he continued, "Let's not focus on the world, let's focus on you, okay? On us, including Bobby. Do you honestly think that you'd be at peace if Lucifer took over your body? I mean, really? Honestly, Sam, do you?"

"I wouldn't be aware. Therefore if that is as close to peace as I can get, I would take that."

"But you'd feel bad about it."

"I wouldn't be aware, Dean. Lucifer said he would make it so I wasn't aware."

"Seriously, why do you trust him so easily?" Dean consciously kept his voice gentle. He would not wreak this progress with a careless word, "Why? Just answer me that. Why do you?"

Sam bit his lip and closed his eyes.

Dean shook his head lightly, "Look at me, Sam. Please."

Sam opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Why?" was the repeated question.

Sam swallowed, "Because...he's the only one here. All I see is darkness around me, and he's the only hand that is offered to me. He's the only one that cares; he's the only one in the darkness. He's the only one that is there. I have nothing else."

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his head on his Sam forehead. "Sam….I'm here now. I'm here, do you hear me? I'm sorry I wasn't before. I'm sorry I didn't do a good job before. I know it was hypocritical, calling you back but still treating you badly. I should have offered you a bone, some kind of anchor. I should have. I see that clearly now. I should have offered you a hand."

"It's not your fault." Came the small murmur.

"But I played a part that I shouldn't have. But you have to let me make it up to you. We are in this together. We both had lessons to learn, but we've learned them, now we need to come back together as a stronger unit. Don't let Lucifer or anyone else take that away from us. This is choice you can make, Sam. I just pray you make the right one."

"It would never have been the same." Sam whispered regretfully.

Dean choose his words carefully and slowly, "We've changed too much. Done too much. Seen too much, but that doesn't mean that we have to lose what is important to us. It grows and changes but it's still there. If we choose it. It can still be there. It's what I choose, wholeheartedly. I would hope it still means much to your to choose it as well."

Neither one was aware of how long they sat like that, neither one moving.

Suddenly, Sam gave a small laugh.

"What is it?" Dean asked a little amused by this as he cracked open his eye slightly.

"I just realized….it's the first time that I've let you near me for any length of time."

Dean said nothing to this, but his mouth did twitch though his eyes were a little uncertain about what this meant, now that Sam realized.

Would he push him away again, or would he not?

Sam gave a small smile as he looked cross-eyed into Dean's. "I had forgotten what it was like."

Dean sucked in a breath, "I promise I'll never let you forget again, Sammy."

Sam gave that small smile again. "You called me that again."

Dean smiled lightly, "Indeed."

Sam said solemnly, "You know you can't promise that. You know as well as I do, that anything could happen."

"I won't make the same mistake twice, Sammy. That I can promise." Dean murmured.

Sam's eyes fluttered close and open,"I don't want to either." he muttered very softly.

"Then choose not to. Choose to fight this." Dean encouraged.

"That means I have to find strength enough to do so."

"I'll help you look and gather it up."

It was Sam who pulled his head away. Dean dropped his hands from each side of Sam's face to his shoulders, watching him closely. Sam stared off for a moment.

"Sam?" Dean asked fear creeping into his voice.

Sam mouth only twitched in a parody of a smile, "Just thinking."

"Not…..talking to Lucifer?"

"No. I'm not."

Dean breathed a sigh of relief before asking tentatively, "Have you made a decision, yet, Sam?"

It was Sam this time that clutched either side of Dean's face and stared into his brother's green eyes intently as if he was searching for something. Dean was little uncomfortable at this heavy scrutiny but did nothing to contradict it. If it meant getting Sam back, he would endure it. Then Sam closed his eyes for a bit and still Dean didn't say anything though he was dying to know what train of thought Sam was on. He could not read his younger brother and it worried him. Dean needed this to be okay. Dean needed Sam to be okay.

A few minutes later, Sam slowly opened his eyes.

Some of the longest minutes of Dean's life as he held his breath almost as Sam opened his mouth.

But then, Dean heard the most beautiful words ever spoken since the dawn of mankind.

"I need…..help to face him. If I do this, I can't….do it alone." Sam looked uncertain and small at this.

But something in Dean loosened greatly and he threw his arms around Sam who grunted but otherwise gave his older brother a hug of his own, with a small smile.

"And you won't have to be alone. You won't be." He pulled back and looked into Sam's eyes making sure he heard and knew that Dean was serious, "I promise, okay? Do you believe that? Can you start believing that? Do you want to believe that?"

Sam gave a slow nod, "I do want to believe it and...I want to start believing that."

Dean looked relieved, "You aren't alone. Not anymore." he pulled Sam back to him in a hug, "You'll have me and Bobby", he murmured as he shut his eyes tightly, tears leaking out.

How much had the two of them shed tears in the last week alone? It was maddening. Sam buried his head in his older brother's shoulder. It had been so long since he felt this way. He now saw two hands offered to him in the darkness.

And he made the choice to accept one of them.

He chose to accept one of those hands.

He chose.

His choice.

All his.

**TBC…. **

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><p>A.N: I know it sounds like a viable end, but trust me it's not. As far as I'm concerned there is still a drop of milk in this Limpcow.<p>

But we are close to the end.

This is another chapter that got longer because Dean in particular has much more to say than originally and then Sam kept adding and responding, which actually makes this now the longest chapter, which originally it wasn't.

Sorry Lucifer, your monologuing just got pawned by the Winchester brothers for the longest chapter.

But I'm sure no one objects to the heavy Winchester chick flick moment, do they?

Yep, that's what I thought.


	10. CH9: Angel on my right, Devil on my left

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Nothing of substance to say.

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Chapter 9: Angel on my right, Devil on my left<p>

Sam breathed out a nervous breath as he twitched about.

"Sam, it'll be okay", Dean nodded trying to sooth his little brother.

It was close to being 24 hours later now. Currently, they were standing out on the porch, both waiting for Lucifer to show up and the closer it got, the more nervous Sam got. Bobby was in the house with a rifle, that probably wouldn't do much against Lucifer but it made all of them feel better, as he looked out the window, the curtains shielding him from view. He still could not believe only a day earlier, Lucifer was standing in his kitchen and had given back his legs. Bobby was very happy when Sam and Dean had found him and told him that Sam decided he would fight still. Bobby is not a huggy man by any means but he did pull Sam into a fierce hug behind that. Sam had given him his shy smile. And now both of those he consider his sons were gearing up to face Lucifer.

And Bobby didn't like it one bit.

Not one.

Sam blew out another breath, "I dunno, Dean." He shifted from one foot to the other.

Dean stepped in Sam's way of pacing and put his hands on his shoulder, looking into his eyes. "Sam, you have to believe that we'll get through this. I know this is hard and downright terrifying but you have my support and Bobby's. Utilize that and remember that, okay? Never forget that, okay?"

Sam nodded jerkily, "Yeah. Yeah. You're right."

Dean gave a small smile. "As usual."

And before Sam could say anything to that, a smooth voice cut in, "Are you ready, Sam?"

Both Winchesters ripped their heads to the bottom of the porch where Lucifer stood with a smile.

"You like to come and go, huh?" Dean snarled, "Just pop in, whenever you feel like it."

"Sam and I had an appointment", Lucifer stated simply smiling up at Sam.

"I'm afraid that's canceled", Dean shot back.

Lucifer glazed coolly at Dean. "I like you better when you don't talk."

"And I like it better when you aren't around", Dean shot back.

"Don't freeze him." Sam ordered softly anticipating Lucifer's next move.

Lucifer looked back Sam, "Oh, I see." He nodded slowly, "You want him to suffer. Let him try to stop you, he won't succeed."

"Of all the arrogant..." Dean started but before he could get started, a hand was in his face making him pause. He glanced at Sam who had not taken his eyes off Lucifer, but only briefly to dart his eyes towards him. Dean gave the smallest of nods, allowing Sam the chance to take the lead.

A part of him, objected but another part of him, a stronger part, knew that Sam needed to do this for him. But that wouldn't stop Dean from supporting him. Lucifer looked between them as Sam took a step down and another until he was standing in front of Lucifer. Dean came down quickly and stood behind Sam, back him up all the way as he glared at Lucifer.

"Well, Sam. I sense that you are more at peace. That's good. That means you have come to terms with your choice. Allow us to do this thing." Lucifer smiled.

Sam swallowed to steady his nerves remembering Dean's words. Dean was watching him closely. From his angle, he could see Sam's face and pride shined through him as Sam lifted his chin.

"No." He stated simply.

Lucifer's smile drop as he blinked and for all the world, looked confused. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sam wavered once on his feet but his voice was just as firm. "No. That is your answer, Lucifer. I won't become your vessel. I don't want to. That's my choice."

Lucifer eyes slowly settled, unblinkingly, on Dean who couldn't help his small victorious smirk to show plainly on his face. His eyebrows shot up when Sam stepped in front of him blocking Lucifer's glaze.

"You once said, you'd do anything to see me happy. Don't mess with my brother." Sam stated,"It won't make me happy."

Dean felt himself unexpectedly warm at that.

"Oh, Sam", Lucifer sighed after a moment of studying Sam, "I see he managed to put you on a leach like a dog...again." He glared at Dean who had stepped out a little.

Dean could not let that go. "I don't consider my little brother a dog, nor do I have him on a leach." he hissed.

"You can call it what you will, but the truth still remains the same." Lucifer said coolly looking his nose down at Dean before looking back at Sam imploringly, "Can't you see? Only I offer you true peace and freedom. Dean can't do that. He can't do that." He took a step forward and almost purred, "My son…"

In a flash, Sam had a gun pointing in his face, but Lucifer was undisturbed by this. Dean followed his lead and pulled out his own gun pointing it at Lucifer as well.

Sam's eyes flashed. "Here's the next thing. I am not your son! Why do you continue to call me that?"

Lucifer smiled gently, "Because I consider you to be so. We are the same, you and I. We understand each other."

Sam shook his head, "No." he wavered once but came back stronger, "No we aren't the same."

"You can deny it, but it won't change what is."

"No." Sam borderline growled.

Lucifer cocked his head, "My son, why do you go back? Why? You've been down that road and you know where it ends."

To Dean great distress, Sam lowered the gun slightly as Lucifer continued, "You know where it ends. This you know. And now you allow Dean to pull you back into the fray like that? Why? You know what you need. You need an end. For it to be over. Not another fight. A fight you know you will lose. Don't let Dean do this to you. Not even him. Do this for you. Do it for you."

"Don't listen to him, Sam!" Dean hissed glaring daggers at Lucifer, "He's playing you. Twisting his words to suit his purpose."

"I am not. I'm just stating facts. You are tired, Sam. You can't change that, you've been through too much. I'm just offering you rest. That's all rest. Just rest."

"Sammy, we talked about this remember. It wouldn't be you to just give up like this. You can't just go out like this."

Lucifer snorted, "You'd have him fighting for the rest of his days. You think he can just continue and not get tired. That's not possible, Dean."

Sam lowered the gun and flopped bonelessly on the porch, holding his head. Dean sat on his right side quickly, "Sam, you can do this. I know you are tired, but you have fought this long. Don't let the Devil of all people take away your fight for something superficial."

"You call eternal rest superficial?" Lucifer snorted.

Dean glared at him, "If it means giving up so easily then yes." He turned back to Sam, "Humans are born to fight. I know we have to fight harder than most. But you can't give up." He remember some of Bobby's words, "What if I decide to give up? Huh? Since you want to give up, maybe I should and then if I do, Bobby does and then if he does, maybe some chick across country will decide to off herself and then some dude in the next state...Sam, we could get really stupid here. Angels already think humans are worthless, don't prove them right. Prove that we are made of something. Don't let him, take away your fight."

Lucifer quietly took a seat on Sam's left. "Son, I'm not trying to take away your fight. I'm giving you a reason not to have to fight anymore. Think about it, Sam. All your life you've been running and running and what has it got you? Look at you. I just want you to be happy."

"Lucy's", Dean snorted, "...reason here...is not a good one. You can't just give up and go to the dark side like this! You've fought that all your life, never wanting to go dark side. You told me, you didn't want to. Sammy, I don't say this to hurt you, but if you go with him, that is exactly what you'd be doing. You'd be giving up and walking into the arms of the dark side. Do not go Darth Vader on me!"

"Dark is relative. Honestly, you are already in the dark. I'm just trying to make it bearable."

"And I'm giving you the light itself, only if you can see that."

"How many times has that light failed you? How many times has the bulb broke?"

"And how many times did we change the bulb and keep going?" Dean was matching Lucifer point for point. He would not lose this. "You are tired, but remember what I said. If you need strength, then you borrow mine. You break awhile but then you repair and keep going."

Lucifer snorted, "Dean here has left you. I would never do that. I would make sure you are alright, through thick and thin."

Something snapped in Dean.

"Don't you dare sit there and talk about going through thick and thin!" Dean roared, glaring ferociously at Lucifer. He ripped his hand up and pointed his gun in his face, "I've been there with him since the day he was born", he hissed, "I practically raised him. I took care of him. I cleaned his cuts and stitched him up. I was there when he cried and I was the one that protected him. I went to hell and back for him. What did you do?"

Dean screamed, "What did you do, you #^*! Nothing! Not a darn thing! You can't come in here pitch some song that sounds good but has no merit. I've proven my merit over and over. Yes, I made mistakes. Yes, we've both made mistakes, but still we rose. And we will always rise in one form or another, because it's what we do! We are not playthings and that's exactly what you are doing! This is just a game to you, a game of chess to get to what you want! Well you aren't gonna take my king, that's for darn sure!"

"So tell me, Devil!" Dean spat, "What have you done? Nothing but cause grief and suffering! What have you done for Sam in any aspect of his life? Absolutely nothing! You just gotten risen a few weeks ago and you think you know Sammy? You think you know him, like I do? You know nothing! Alright sure, you might have some psychic connection, but it all pales to the 27 years of life we shared, thank you very much! All you are is a belly to the ground snake. No, more than that a leech, a jacked up parasite! And guess what, I won't let you take Sam. I will fight to the death for him! You can't have him! Over my dead body!"

Dean slowed down, panting, his face red with anger. He kept shaking as well.

Lucifer looked at him amused and said nothing for a long moment. "And once again I ask, what has that done for Sam?" he finally inquired, "Look at him now. Strength waning and you are selfish enough to not allow him to go into the light."

"You aren't light. There is nothing about you that is light. You are called the Devil for a reason."

"Still doesn't change that you're selfish."

"Maybe I am! But that doesn't change the fact that you are a lying, two-timing…."

"Enough!" Sam cried pushing Dean's arm out of his way to stand up, "Both of you!" He spun around to face the two of them sitting on the porch.

Dean re-raised the gun to Lucifer's head even as he looked at Sam.

"Both of you keep talking and talking and…." Sam sighed. "Both of you each state truth."

"Sam", Dean cried, "He is lying. That's all he does!"

"No, Dean. Truth has two sides."

"Sam, please, you aren't buying this", Dean stood up, his eyes beseeching of his younger brother. He thought they had made progress. He could not lose to Lucifer now.

Sam closed his eyes, "Both of you have a point somewhere, that much I will say. But….." Sam raised the gun and pointed it at Lucifer once again as he opened his eyes.

Dean just stood staring at Sam, still in shock. This roller-coaster ride he been on for the last long while, had finally caught up with him and he couldn't help but to just stand there, barely breathing.

Sam moved closer to Dean, "But, Dean is right. He has more merit than you'd ever have. I had forgotten. And you were no help in remembering, Lucifer. You were playing me, twisting your words. They sounded good, and some of it was truth and I agree, but when it came down to it, I'd choose my older brother if still wanted me for a younger brother. " Here Sam's voice wavered as he glanced uncertain at Dean.

Dean snapped out of it and added his own gun to Lucifer's face and smirked at Sam, "You know I do. Don't ask stupid questions." He felt the relief flowing off of Sam as he moved to stand by his side, placing his hand on his back, trying to will strength into Sam, to enhance the strength growing now.

"I'd be selfish if I left. After everything my brother has done for me, I'd be selfish to leave. He's right, we have to fight. It's selfish to give up when there is even one person that is still around. Your actions has consequences and can impact everyone around you. I had forgotten but I'm remembering now. I'm slowly remembering..."

Lucifer sighed, "For once, my son…."

"Call me that one more time, I'll put a bullet in your head", Sam growled and if the situation allowed it, Dean would have whooped.

Lucifer continued, "For once, think about yourself. Think about what you need and want now what others want and need of you."

Sam paused here a moment and Dean patted his back letting him know he was there. Sam glanced at him, thoughtfully. Dean hoped that is what it was and the Lucifer wasn't getting through to Sam anymore.

"I think…." Sam stared slowly, "I think that….humans, good humans, should by nature have some level of caring within them. If they are…good humans, just humans in general then it shouldn't always be about them. They should care enough about others to continue to fight and in the process, maybe they would get some of the things they want and need. Humans are usually connected and it would selfish for one whole human to stop the chain..."

Dean smiled at this. He knew what Sam was trying to get at. Granted Sam had to think through that, and it came out muddled, but Dean knew what he was trying to say.

Lucifer looked between the brothers before he gave a mocking smile that seemed to make his eyes flat as his true nature seemed to come out. The so called warmth he had seemed to have before disappeared, "This is touching. It really is. The Winchester brothers back together again."

Sam raised his chin and glared coolly down at Lucifer, "Yea, we'll get through somehow. But it's my choice. This is my choice and I choose to stay and make this right. I choose to fight. I choose not to let you tear the only family I got apart. I choose, this. Me and no one else."

"I am your family, Sam."

Dean growled at this and Sam stated, "I don't accept that. I won't. You have done nothing for me. You didn't raise me. You weren't there when I was sick or hurt or upset or anything." Millions of memories passed through Sam's head as he spoke, his eyes misting over in memory. And it didn't hurt so bad to think of them, "You weren't there. You didn't do anything. Therefore you aren't family. Not like Dean or Bobby. Family is more then blood."

Dean couldn't help the proud smirk that played on his face.

Lucifer studied Sam for a long moment before his eyes switch to Dean's who glazed at him coldly. Slowly he stood and dusted imaginary dust off of him. Sam and Dean moved back as Lucifer stepped onto the ground but neither weapon trained on him wavered.

Lucifer slowly nodded. He looked up his eyes cold, "Very well, Sam, but mark my words. You will say yes. It may not be now, or soon but it will be. I'm patient, I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer. Trust me, Sam, you will come to me. This I guarantee."

"I got one for you then." Sam stated softly.

"Yes?"

"I won't say yes, but I will find a way to shut you down. That I guarantee."

Lucifer gave a smile of patience and in a blink of an eye he was gone. The brothers stood rooted for a long moment. It was Dean who finally gave a sigh and dropped his hand abruptly, breathing hard. He looked at Sam who seemed frozen.

"Sam, Sam, it's over now." Said Dean who slowly reached up and took the gun from Sam and lowered his arm.

"What did I do?" Sam whispered forlornly. He had to crash on the steps before he fell down. Dean sat next to him as he asked again, "What did I do?"

"You found your strength. Told off Lucifer." Dean answered with a smirk.

Sam looked at Dean and asked smally, "I did the right thing?"

Dean threw an arm around his younger brother, "Yes, you did. You really did."

"Then why do I feel drained?" Sam sniffed as he reached up to wipe his face, trying to stop the tears before they got started.

Again.

Dean sniffed and blinked rapidly, "You just stared down Lucifer and won. That would make anyone drained."

"You boys okay?" came a gruff but concerned voice as the door eased open.

"Yeah", Dean nodded to Bobby to join them.

Said older man took a seat on the other side of Sam.

A long still moment passed as they each just sat, saying nothing and all thinking about nothing in particular.

Just sitting and enjoying each others company.

It was Dean who finally spoke, his voice husky from emotion as everything finally sunk in. "You made a choice. You did. No one else. You made a choice", he murmured quietly.

Sam looked shyly at Dean with a small smile, "I had help."

Dean smiled. "Yeah, you had help."

**TBC…..**

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><p>A.N: Whoo! The stare-down with Lucifer even made me tired.<p>

Sadly we are almost finished! (Yet on the flip side that might be a good thing as I'm sure, many are tired after reading this ride.)

Next and final, the epilogue!


	11. Epilogue: The Strength to Endure

Disclaimer: I really don't own the Winchester brothers, Lucifer or Bobby. That's the honor of Eric Kripke and lately Sera Gamble! Though I do own the plot!

A.N: Once more thanks for all the favs/alerts/reviews! Enjoy the Epilogue to this story!

Summary: AU after 5.4 The End. He had to endure so much in his young life, but now he may not have the strength to fight any longer. Would he accept the end or would he find the strength to endure? MajorLimpSam, FatherlyLucifer, LaterProtectiveDean

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><p>Epilogue: The Strength to Endure<p>

It had been a week since the showdown with Lucifer. The first few of days just about everyone was tired and with good reason. But the fifth day, Dean and Sam began discussing finally getting back to the hunting business. Dean still had his reservations but for completely different reasons now. Sam seemed to get a lot better, going back to himself, but still there were times that Sam seemed to withdraw into himself and it worried Dean greatly. He kept a sharp eye on his younger brother. But nonetheless, since Sam was beginning to bug him about getting into the hunt, Dean figured it might be time to give it a try again. Now that, that battle had been won, and things were getting to some semblance of normal, Dean was beginning to get antsy.

Dean entered the bedroom to see Sam with his back to him, staring out the window. He quietly closed the door and Sam didn't even stir, and that worried him. Slowly he began walking over to Sam.

"Sammy?" he asked worried and uncertain.

It was a moment before Sam seemed to snap back and look at Dean in surprise. "Where did you come from?" he asked softly, "I didn't hear you come in."

Dean gave him a critical look. Sam squirmed before slowly proceeding to walk around Dean and go into the bathroom, only to be stopped with Dean's hand darted and caught his wrist stopping him in his tracks.

"Sam?" Dean asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay", came the soft reply.

Dean hated himself for asking but he hadn't all week and decided it needed to be on the table. He had promised himself not to let things go if something was bothering him. And it was getting to that point where it was really starting to bother him. So he proceeded as cautiously as he could, "Were…..were you talking to Lucifer?"

"What? No. No!" Sam said more forcibly with he saw Dean give him a censured look, "I was thinking."

"Not talking to Lucifer?" Dean repeated.

Sam shook his head, though his eyes slid away from Dean's. "No, I was thinking."

"Sam…this past week, you've zoned out on me. You weren't…" Dean trailed off.

"No! " Sam's head snapped up and he looked at Dean willing him to believe him, "I haven't talked to Lucifer since that day!"

Dean studied him, trying to ascertain the truth of the statement and finally he gave a relieved smile, happy to be able to read his little brother before he became serious, "Look me in the face and swear you'll tell me if Lucifer shows up in your head. That you'll discuss what he said with me, no matter what. Swear it to me and I'll hold you to that."

There was no hesitation on Sam's part and he looked directly in Dean's eyes. "I swear, Dean. I do. I will. I haven't been talking to him. I guess I've been thinking…..about everything. Trying to make sense and put everything in its proper place again."

"You've been re-cataloging your mind?" Dean asked with a light snort releasing Sam's wrist. It was the first time in a long time he felt this light.

Sam gave a small laugh. "You could say that."

Dean became somber as he looked at Sam.

Sam sighed, "What, Dean?"

"Do you regret it?"

Sam didn't need any further explanation. "I won't lie, a part of me wishes I could have taken the easy way out and accept his offer. A part of me wishes I had said yes, instead of choosing to fight, instead of having to gather strength each morning to fight."

Dean held his breath. "And the other part?"

"The other part, the much larger part, knows I did the right thing when I wake up and see you watching me. Yes, Dean know you've been watching me when I sleep."

Dean blushed a little. He thought he was inconspicuous with that. He found it helped his peace of mind, especially when he had the occasional nightmare that Sam had said yes and he wasn't there anymore. Only to wake and turn to find Sam sleeping away.

Sam smiled lightly, "I know I did the right thing. I know I did, but it's not going to be easy for me to completely shut down that small part of me, that wants so badly to give in."

"Then you'll talk to me, right? I mean, I'm here and if you need to talk, then come talk. I mean, this is beyond your normal chick-flick moment. This is serious. I don't want you to keep withdrawing into yourself trying to deal with something you need help with. Come to me, okay? We'll talk and we'll see what we need to do from there. Okay, promise?"

For the first time in a long time, Sam gave a dimple smile. "Promise, Dean."

Dean grinned. "Great, now let's go. Bobby got chili for dinner."

Sam groaned. "Great, he's gonna make me put up with the aftereffects tonight."

"And we can discuss the case." Dean added.

Sam's eyes light up like Dean had seen in awhile, "Really?"

"Yeah, but a small one of course. Something about a salt and burn, that another hunter apparently couldn't get it together enough to do it."

"Of course."

Dean turned and walked to the door opening it only for a soft voice to stop him. "Thanks, Dean."

Said male turned to face his younger brother who smiled and repeated again, "Thanks…..for everything."

Dean nodded, "As usual. Come on!" He walked out the door, bounding down the steps.

Sam followed at a slower pace.

He would find the strength to endure this.

He had everything he needed and wanted right under this roof.

And that was enough for him.

**FIN.**

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><p>A.N: Whoooo! I'm finished! That tired me out, writing this.<p>

Like I said, this was the most limpy I got ever so far. I don't know that I would push the limp this far again (Or could actually), but it was fun! I think this is the most I've messed with the characters, breaking them as far as they could go before fixing it. I always fix it in the end, it's just getting there that's the problem. lol

I hope you all enjoyed!

Thanks so much for reading!


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